A Joy Forever
I went to see Brokeback Mountain this week. It was beautifully filmed--the mountains, the snow, the isolated beauty of the scenery. And I was struck most by Heath Ledger's performance. Prior to this, I really hadn't ever paid him an ounce of attention. But in this movie, what an astounding work of art, in that he made you feel the pain of his character, made you forget he was acting. The loneliness and ache of Ennis was palpable. You could almost feel it reach out to you. Ledger's acting was a thing of beauty.
Sometimes, as a writer, I'll listen to music, a turn of some lyrics. I used to write poetry, had several poems published, miss writing it and occasionally contemplate crafting poetry again . . . certain phrasing in a song will therefore awe me. Sometimes, it's a movie, a snippet of dialogue that astounds. It's so perfect. And I occasionally will just fall into a complete funk, wondering, "Will I ever create anything so beautiful in my life?" It's not envy per se. It's just an intense admiration, and the sense I always have that life is so utterly short and I want what I create in all mediums to be affecting. As the line of poetry goes, "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." Creating as a writer, I have these intense surges of angst. I know sometimes when I "nail it." A scene. A line. The opening lines of The Roofer are My first instinct was to look at the corpse. It's what all the Irish do. We lay our dead out in the front of the room . . . With that book, I just knew a lot of it was poetry. Other times, like most writers, I presume, I wonder what the heck I am doing. Like did Heath Ledger ever wonder what his agent was thinking when he did A Knight's Tale?
So it's all about beauty. The process of creation, of making something from nothing. I love the process, but sometimes your heart bleeds a little.
Sometimes, as a writer, I'll listen to music, a turn of some lyrics. I used to write poetry, had several poems published, miss writing it and occasionally contemplate crafting poetry again . . . certain phrasing in a song will therefore awe me. Sometimes, it's a movie, a snippet of dialogue that astounds. It's so perfect. And I occasionally will just fall into a complete funk, wondering, "Will I ever create anything so beautiful in my life?" It's not envy per se. It's just an intense admiration, and the sense I always have that life is so utterly short and I want what I create in all mediums to be affecting. As the line of poetry goes, "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." Creating as a writer, I have these intense surges of angst. I know sometimes when I "nail it." A scene. A line. The opening lines of The Roofer are My first instinct was to look at the corpse. It's what all the Irish do. We lay our dead out in the front of the room . . . With that book, I just knew a lot of it was poetry. Other times, like most writers, I presume, I wonder what the heck I am doing. Like did Heath Ledger ever wonder what his agent was thinking when he did A Knight's Tale?
So it's all about beauty. The process of creation, of making something from nothing. I love the process, but sometimes your heart bleeds a little.
posted by Erica Orloff at 9:27 AM
8 Comments:
You've already probably guessed that I'm not planning on seeing BM even though I'm going to be rooting for it to win all the Oscars it got nominated for. Go ahead. Say it. Karmela, you big chicken! I know...
As for poetry, I used to not like it at all because I found so many of them (especially the contemporary literary ones) too highbrow, with a lot of "huh? What did he mean by that?" scratching of the head on my part. And then, I began listening to Eminem (I'm a big hip hop fan). Many people condemn him for his mysogynistic and violent words, but I didn't hear that. I heard the pain and suffering channeled through his art, the creativity and originally of his rhyming, and pain and more pain. Talk about an angst-ridden anti-hero.
It was because of him that I rediscovered poetry. Weird huh? And now, when I write an angst-filled scene or am deep into the black moment, I like to put on his song "8 Mile" to put me in that desperate, hopeless frame of mind. That song is pure poetry.
Hi Karm:
Say it with me now . . . . CHICKEN. ;-)
I hear you on the poetry. I really got into it for a time, and I was amazed how my writing improved. It became more spare, every word had to count, that sort of thing. Now, when I write novels, I sometimes come up shorter in word count than my publisher likes and I have to push myself to add details . . . I still like things spare, and I gravitate toward dialogue too.
As for 8 Mile . . . I listen to that song and CD a lot. I love the idea of grabbing that one moment, that one chance. And I agree . . . like Heath Ledger's Ennis, the feelings on Eminem's CD are palpable. It is a thing of BEAUTY, even if initially someone might not think of it that way.
Oh Erica, I know what you mean. One of my absolute favorite scenes is in Casablanca when Rick replied to Major Strasser, "I'm a drunkard," and Capt. Renault says, "That makes Rick a citizen of the world." It beautifully captures who Rick is with no description or lengthy back story. When I need inspiration, I watch that movie.
Cheers,
Mary who is still on the hunt for the Green Tea Martini in the O.C.
Mary:
Exactly! I adore when a movie can succinctly, in an unforced way tell me all I have to know with a camera shot, a line of dialogue. It's poetry. I have way too many favorite movies to count them here (as you know), but the best ones accomplish that.
E
Love your post - my son refers to me as an emotional hermit crab.
I am not good with angst. It hurts. I would much rather see a comedy - bawk, bawk - or a great horror film.
Traci
Traci:
I think the only thing I won't see, honestly, or avoid, are those romantic comedies where the people BICKER the ENTIRE time when you KNOW they are going to end up together. I just get so frustrated . . . And I feel like there is enough negativity in the world without having to watch two people be mean to each other for nearly two hours.
But I also, to be honest, have to be "ready" for the really sad ones.
I had the same reaction to "Brokeback Mountain." The writer in me was astounded by the film's ability to transcend the hype ('gay cowboys'). I can only hope that I can someday convey that kind of emotion in my work -- that I can write scenes that make your heart ache along with the character; that I can capture a character's feelings so well with a single look or gesture.
Louise
Louise:
I know . . . usually "hype" movies disappoint me. Unless it's a popcorn flick and I go into it assuming it will be just that and I want to be blown away by special effects and so on, NOT subtle characterization.
I thought that one performance was so aching. The rest was good too . . . but it was in the "closed" essence of his performance and the writing, the subtle things, that I was most awed. There are people like Pacino . . . and they act "big." You rarely see them do something nuanced. This was really amazing . . . and the writer in me was just aching.
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