What a Long Strange Trip It's Been

Just came back from a conference where I spoke about chick lit and YA chick lit and the marketplace. I brought along my youngest child and my mom, and the baby intuitively knew that somehow I needed to be on my game, thus he ensured that he spent half of each night crying, the other half nursing, and that I couldn't even go to the bathroom without him clinging to my leg. If I slept a total of six hours over 72 hours, that was a lot, and all the coffee in the world wasn't going to give me a brain. I was rather like the scarecrow and there was nothing in the Wizard's bag for me.
I have never been to a conference before. Ever. I am solitary by nature, and though outgoing, the rebel in me means I tend not to like organized events and anything where someone says "You have to be here at such and such a time." Is it any wonder I'm a novelist and not a nine-to-fiver? But I had a fabulous time. Met some WONDERFUL writers like Nancy Robards Thompson, Leanne Banks, Diane Peterfreund, Julie Leto, and Traci Hall. And many others.
And of course, one of the the questions asked over and over again by aspiring novelists was . . . how did you get published?
And I hate that question because while I was at the conference, I realized that for so many, it was attending conferences and networking. And that would be a great story if that was mine. Because THAT really is a great way to make connections needed. There are editor pitch sessions, and it's a way to fine-tune and hone your pitching skills.
Instead, I have one of those ridiculous tales people who endure years of rejection hate . . . I sold my first novel (not counting the one I wrote at 22 when I still didn't even grasp what passive voice was), met an agent, said can I send it to you, and had a book contract in three months. So my God, that's not what people want to hear.
However, because I did have to share that this weekend, I did get to thinking. Even though I have a hideously "easy" story of my route to publication, there are some important lessons in there:

1. I had honed my craft by being in a writer's group since I was 22 (over ten years of weekly writing meetings), always trying to learn, learn, learn. My college degree, though from a fancy university, really ill-prepared me for being a writer. I learned "book smarts" and had a minor in creative writing, a degree in English and journalism, with sociology thrown in for good measure, but really . . . it was the trenches of writing groups that taught me the most. I learned from other writers.
   
2. That said, you're often told write what you know. I sort of do. And well . . . I had to live a little more before I had something truly worthwhile to say.
3. Even though I met my agent in a "must be fate" kind of way by standing next to him at an event, it was STILL, in a sense, one of those networking things. Six degrees of separation is alive and well.
4. By the time Spanish Disco was published, I was ready . . . and IT was ready. I used all I had learned to write a book that I still laugh out loud when I read. Which is a good sign. I had learned a lot over the years.
   

So that's my story (thank you for my blog visitor Jasmine for asking). To my fellow conference attendees . . . thanks. It was a blast. To my dear mother . . . SORRY that our vision of wine and Scrabble was destroyed by an eleven-month-old baby channeling Damian. But it was still fun!