The Buddhist Writer
Buddhists walk The Path. They seek The Way. They don't look left or right to see what the Buddhist next to them is doing. Writers can learn a lot from that.
Jealousy is one of the most insidious things among writers. What does writer X have that I don't? He writes crap and is published, and I am not. Why does writer Y have such a following for her drivel? How did writer Z get such a big advance?
Each writer is on his or her own path. You can learn from other writers, from the community of support you can find in pockets out there of other writers. I know some belong to chapters of this professional organization or that one (I'm not a joiner, so I must confess I don't). Some are in critique groups (I am). Some blog (that would be me). Some visit online writing sites or bulletin boards (sometimes--usually I visit sites of online pals I've met over the years). But remember that YOU are on your own path.
I recently was asked to blurb a book for Heather Brewer, who will have Eighth Grade Bites out soon. (I gave her a blurb as Liza Conrad--my YA pen name.) One thing I told her when I wrote her back with my blurb was to enjoy the ride. Each writer will only have one First Book (if lucky and perservering and talented enough to get a First Deal). Enjoy that moment. That step on your path. Sometimes the rest of it can be a blur!
Being in the moment can suck--a bad review, a snarky comment, writer's block--but it's all part of the journey too. And the best thing you can do is keep on your path. Not looking left or right, not letting comparisons make you crazy.
Jealousy is one of the most insidious things among writers. What does writer X have that I don't? He writes crap and is published, and I am not. Why does writer Y have such a following for her drivel? How did writer Z get such a big advance?
Each writer is on his or her own path. You can learn from other writers, from the community of support you can find in pockets out there of other writers. I know some belong to chapters of this professional organization or that one (I'm not a joiner, so I must confess I don't). Some are in critique groups (I am). Some blog (that would be me). Some visit online writing sites or bulletin boards (sometimes--usually I visit sites of online pals I've met over the years). But remember that YOU are on your own path.
I recently was asked to blurb a book for Heather Brewer, who will have Eighth Grade Bites out soon. (I gave her a blurb as Liza Conrad--my YA pen name.) One thing I told her when I wrote her back with my blurb was to enjoy the ride. Each writer will only have one First Book (if lucky and perservering and talented enough to get a First Deal). Enjoy that moment. That step on your path. Sometimes the rest of it can be a blur!
Being in the moment can suck--a bad review, a snarky comment, writer's block--but it's all part of the journey too. And the best thing you can do is keep on your path. Not looking left or right, not letting comparisons make you crazy.
posted by Erica Orloff at 8:20 AM
16 Comments:
"But remember that YOU are on your own path."
That is CRUCIAL (and difficult, at times) to remember. I'm writing it down and taping it to my monitor.
Excellent post, Erica. (and excellent blurb--thank you again a million times over) You're a goddess. :)
Hey Heather:
It is really difficult. I'm competitive by nature--was a totally driven student who skipped grades and got scholarship offers and it seemed I measured a lot of who I was by what I could pin on my wall or say I had accomplished by such and such an age. Over time, thank God, I've matured to a pretty peaceful spot where I measure myself more on how I feel inside and what I have in intangible things--love, friends, family, serenity. I try to be genuinely pleased by others' successes, and I try to lend a helping hand to other writers I meet on The Path.
E
Just a comment on 'being in the moment"... when you are there, remember that you can choose who you are being in that moment. By choose to let a 'no' be a 'no for them' you have made it one step closer to finding the 'yes' that you are looking for.
Hard to do, but helpful to your sanity.
Just my $.02, fwiw.
Peace
Brian:
So absolutely true and so utterly difficult. I have been really working on "language" of late in my personal life and choosing more affirming language. It's really amazing how even if you think you are a positive person, and upbeat, etc., how the negative creeps in. As a writer, you would think I would be more cautious about language, but we all slip into it.
E
'the negative' is just insidious. It slips in, unannounced. Your speech. Your writing. Your thoughts. Each moment is an opportunity, for negative or for positive. At first it is hard to recognize. It is a lot like working out old muscles.
If you can flag those thoughts and words that hesitate, deny or doubt, then you have the opportunity, in the moment, to win.
I go through this every day, all day. I am fortunate to have friends who drag me kicking and screaming out of the negative, and of course a wife who is expert at it.
I love your blog. You always have something interesting to say or a positive way to see your topic.
Brian:
Talk about negative. Somehow I lost my first reply to your last post. :-)
I love this . . . The negative is just insidious.
So absolutely true. I learned that when I took a biofeedback course and part of the classwork was language. It opened my eyes. I've been working on it ever since, and it is like using old muscles. Not only that, you have to constantly be vigilant.
As for the blog. I'm not into snark except among pals over a martini or two . . . and even then . . . I would rather encourage all of us to follow our dreams.
E
Regarding the snarking... as much as it may be fun, or even possibly useful, the are much more positive ways to say a thing than to be snarky or snide about it. That is where language can win against the negative, as you said. Being honest and being positive are not mutually exclusive.
I agree with the constant vigillance point you made. I think that we get trained to look for things in a negative way. I don't think it is intentional training either. So, this is just like retraining your mind to see different patterns in the same old things. It is like going from survival mode to living mode.
I totally agree. I think some paths are more twist and turns then others. I hope someday to follow in Heathers path and get published.
Along the same lines, self criticism is my greatest burden. I'm not very competitive with others but when it comes to myself, I can be quite harsh.
Meditation has been very helpful and for awhile, I kept a journal in which I counted negative and positive thoughts. It's amazing how much energy one can put into beating oneself over the head.
Brian:
I am with you on the snark thing, but I realize I'm in the minority. If you look at a lot of the most successful blogs in terms of traffic related to the writing biz, there's definitely a lot of snark out there. And I don't take away from humor . . . but the way I look at it, whether I love or hate a book, a real live human being worked hard and sacrificed sleep and energy and so on to create a work of art. The LEAST I can do is frame my critique or comments in a non-personal sense and stick to the issue at hand. I think the issue of personal attacks in reviews and Amazon was one of the "suprises" I have found about being an author. While most comments are positive, and even the critical ones are balanced, there are a few that are off the wall or so nasty as to make you wonder. I know one woman who has a reviewing website and reviewed a book of mine like three years ago. And she has consistently hopped from reviewing site or Amazon etc. over the YEARS to consistently file this negative review YEARS after the fact. I just don't get the "energy" that goes into that at all! But I am quite delighted I don't live that way.
E
Lisa:
I hear you. I actually ADORE hearing people's stories of their paths to publication. Mine was pure "serendipity" and very "easy," compared to some authors' tales, but I do love to hear about the tenacity, luck, belief systems, etc. of others. While I do think "the path" is not comparing my story to anyone else's, I sincerely "delight" in hearing about the good fortune of other writers. It's fun to vicariously hear about their ride.
E
Mary:
I am working on not being a tough critic to myself either. It's hard. I blogged a few weeks ago that once in a while I hear a song or see a movie with a really good script and I can literally WEEP thinking, I will never create anything so beautiful. Or paintings! But the books I am MOST proud of . . . The Roofer, and the upcoming Invisible Girl . . . I do "allow" myself to see them as art.
And yeah . . . beating ourselves up is just a terrible use of time and energy.
E
It's scary, actually, how much snark concerning writers is out there. We're all on the same road, doing the same thing. Shouldn't we look out for one another? But sadly, the world (even the writing world) isn't as it should be.
I'm a big believer in this: Negativity brings about negativity. Stay positive and good things will follow. So far...it's worked for me. :)
Heather:
I am SO with you on this subject. I have been really stunned sometimes--I have a dear friend, a YA writer, who was reviewed on an online forum, and the reviewer wrote: "I'm sorry I spent my money on this book and encouraged this person to keep on writing bad fiction." WTF! I mean, talk about a personal, nasty comment. To me, that kind of review or comment has no place in my world . . . so I stopped reading some particularly snarky blogs and so on, but there's still no escaping it.
Some people will review if only to make themselves appear witty, smarter and so on. And those reviews have no interest to me because I see right through them. Balanced reviews or comments are useful. Personal attacks . . . not so much.
E
And what purpose does such a snarky, snotty review serve? Absolutely none! It says far more about the reviewer than the author.
Heather:
That's it, exactly. You know, in my very first novel, Spanish Disco, there's a scene where the editor, who is a genius (IQ wise, though a mess in her personal life) and the writer (same thing, a J.D. Salinger-type) are walking and talking, and he says something along the lines of after his wife's accidental death (she was shot--shades of Dick Cheney--by a hunter), he said something awful to her parents at her funeral. Something they "deserved" but still awful. And the editor character was sort of like, "Good for you." And his response is just because you are smart enough and verbal enough and witty enough to decimate someone in a debate or with a comeback or comment, doesn't mean you SHOULD. I "can" usually crucify people in debates, doesn't mean I "should." So yeah, that lack of self-restraint in terms of personal coments about writers and so on just is for people with no degree of self-edit, I think.
E
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