My Favorite Baby
Choosing a favorite character YOU yourself have written is sort of like saying to a mother "which child is your favorite?" You love them all equally.
Some writers say "My current one"--whatever their wip, that is the character they are excited over.
But if you HAD to choose. HAD to . . . which one would it be and why?
For me, my favorite character EVER isn't hard to choose. It's Tom, the brother in THE ROOFER. Tom acts in a really incestuous way toward his sister. When she has her boyfriend over, he is completely sh*t-faced and parades naked in front of them. He pukes in his bed he's so drunk every night and takes an awful lot of drugs throughout. He also does something horrific, a crime so personal and cold that it hopefully takes readers' breaths away.
But I love him. More than that, I lived and breathed him when I wrote Tom. More than THAT, he is my sacrifical lamb. He is the Christ figure in the book. It boils down to a certainty that Tom would do ANYTHING for his sister, Ava. Anything. He would die for her. And he wouldn't blink, hesistate, or pause. He would without looking around accept death in an instant because he loves her that much. She is HIS Ava. He wants to own her. He wants to possess her. He wants to suffocate her and keep her.
And then deep within him is a boy. In my favorite scene, a flashback, the adolescent Ava and Tom ride the subway to Lincoln Center and watch "normal" families as if the siblings were anthropologists living within a tribe, yet observing. They guess at what normal is, guess at what it looks like and smells like. And THAT boy, that dearly innocent boy, loses all in the book.
After the book was published, I got email after email from fans both loving Tom and hating him. And mostly they wanted Tom to have a hopeful ending of his own. One reader asked me if I would write that for her! Women wrote me sobbing. Several men wrote me trying to comprehend this brother.
Tom is my baby. In ways I can't quite explain, he is half my soul. I wish I could explain it. I wish I could make a non-writer understand it. He isn't an ideal man. He's not even a GOOD man, in the way most people undestand morality. But in the gray world of Hell's Kitchen, he is a righteous man.
In some ways, I am in love with Tom. I wish I could conjure him.
So . . . who is your favorite child. And why?
Some writers say "My current one"--whatever their wip, that is the character they are excited over.
But if you HAD to choose. HAD to . . . which one would it be and why?
For me, my favorite character EVER isn't hard to choose. It's Tom, the brother in THE ROOFER. Tom acts in a really incestuous way toward his sister. When she has her boyfriend over, he is completely sh*t-faced and parades naked in front of them. He pukes in his bed he's so drunk every night and takes an awful lot of drugs throughout. He also does something horrific, a crime so personal and cold that it hopefully takes readers' breaths away.
But I love him. More than that, I lived and breathed him when I wrote Tom. More than THAT, he is my sacrifical lamb. He is the Christ figure in the book. It boils down to a certainty that Tom would do ANYTHING for his sister, Ava. Anything. He would die for her. And he wouldn't blink, hesistate, or pause. He would without looking around accept death in an instant because he loves her that much. She is HIS Ava. He wants to own her. He wants to possess her. He wants to suffocate her and keep her.
And then deep within him is a boy. In my favorite scene, a flashback, the adolescent Ava and Tom ride the subway to Lincoln Center and watch "normal" families as if the siblings were anthropologists living within a tribe, yet observing. They guess at what normal is, guess at what it looks like and smells like. And THAT boy, that dearly innocent boy, loses all in the book.
After the book was published, I got email after email from fans both loving Tom and hating him. And mostly they wanted Tom to have a hopeful ending of his own. One reader asked me if I would write that for her! Women wrote me sobbing. Several men wrote me trying to comprehend this brother.
Tom is my baby. In ways I can't quite explain, he is half my soul. I wish I could explain it. I wish I could make a non-writer understand it. He isn't an ideal man. He's not even a GOOD man, in the way most people undestand morality. But in the gray world of Hell's Kitchen, he is a righteous man.
In some ways, I am in love with Tom. I wish I could conjure him.
So . . . who is your favorite child. And why?
posted by Erica Orloff at 4:25 PM
20 Comments:
I sobbed at the end of the book b/c I was so relieved Ava got out (I cannot tell you how afraid I was that she wouldn't). But I was also so so sad for Tom. Ohmygod, when Ava touches the heart and tells him she will always be there I totally lost it (my dh will agree there -- he just stood there and stared at me). . .
I think that Tom WAS a good man. That crime that he committed is what I think led to his alcohol and drug drowning and his abnormal co-dependency on Ava (although since you're his goddess, you can say I'm wrong). Not that he and Ava weren't always close and wouldn't always have stayed close but I think there would have been a little more freedom. I think his soul couldn't reconcile what he'd done, even though in his own words (or were they Ava's) it was the way they'd been taught to deal with such a problem. I think without the events that caused the crime that Tom would have had a pretty good life.
Funny, I can see someone WANTING a better end for Tom but I can't see it happening. As a matter of fact, without Ava I'm not sure how much longer Tom will be on the face of the Earth. I thought about him for a long time after I finished the book. And more than a year later, I still get choked up telling people about the book.
Yeah, I can totally see how Tom could be your favorite.
Penn
Penn:
You "got it." I may have created Tom, but yes, yes, yes, on all counts. Tom, in my mind, thought he was as hard as Uncle Two and his father, but there was his whole dream of being a good man and a sheriff. I think he sacrificed his soul for Ava. And yes, I think the drugs were a way to deal with it--which is why Ava was closest, of all, with Uncle Two, who lost HIS son, Rocky to drugs.
And I agree . . . without the events, there was a hope for them, like the painting they hung in their apartment of the horse. There was a chance. But I think, at least in my life, that sometimes chances are slivers. They are windows of time--tiny windows. And when you miss them, they vanish. The lover you should have married, the time you should have run off to Paris, the missed train, the missed chance at redemption and it takes you longer to reach that point. So Tom's window closed, in that regard.
And yes, I think of him. He "pains" me, and I think of him and sometimes dream of him.
E
Erica, I just read DO THEY WEAR HIGH HEELS IN HEAVEN? and loved it.
About my favorite child, in my wip I have three protagonists, and one is me--only funnier, taller, thinner, younger... She says the things I wish I had the guts to say out loud. About midpoint, I realized I didn't give her enough conflict. I added something I went through. It was a hard choice, but in the end my only one. After all, she was me (only better).
If I couldn't say Logan my mc of my WIP. Then I would have to say Paris. He is a werefox/witch of my WIP.
He is strong and tender at the same time. He is willing to wait for Logan's love. He follows orders very well. ;)
I can relate to Tom. If someone hurts my loved one the way Ava was hurt, there ain't gonna be no boxing match. I think we all long for someone like Tom in our lives, the protector and savior.
My baby is Nicholas Colt. He'll do what he can to solve problems through diplomacy, but when push comes to shove--and when the stakes are something he deeply cares about--he'll take someone out in a heartbeat. At least, that's what he learns about himself in the first installment of my series.
Why?
If you care deeply enough about someone or something, you'll do whatever it takes to preserve them.
It's all about love and loyalty.
Edie:
Thanks! And I know sometimes our characters get to say just that "perfect" comeback--kind of nice living that element through them.
E
la:
You always have the BEST fantasy characters!
E
Jude:
You (as usual) bring up a brilliant point I should blog about one of these days. What does your character LEARN about himself or herself in the course of the novel.
And it's true. For me, there is a very primal wish for someone stronger and protective--but alas, not available. LOL!
E
I have to go with Ash, from my current WIP. He's probably the best-realised, most rounded, complex character I've ever created. Necromancer, borderline alcholic, nightclub owner, poet, musician, capable of extreme violence as well as absolute love and devotion...
He's usually the character people who read my work ask me about the most, which I choose to assume is a sign they like him as much as I do ;)
In my sunshiny little imagination, I gave Tom a HEA. I think without Ava to lean on he pulled up his socks in an effort to win his Ava back :)
My favorite 'baby' is Eddie. The first character I actually did fall in love with and wish I could conjure. He's in love with his best friends wife. His best friend is a borderline abusive a$$hole, the wife, manic depressive--or bipolar i suppose you call it now-- but he goes to great lengths, that she isn't even aware of to bail her out. Its a rambling 200k ms (almost laughable 3yrs later) but someday I might have at it and give Eddie his story. 6 people read it, they all had the same problem. 1 the story was basically a romance at the core, but Eddie was the romantic one(if you believe romance is armed and on a Harley) 2-she was often unsympathetic, yet she got a HEA and he didn't.
I think its that ANYTHING that sucks me in. In real life, loyalty for the most part comes in degrees, there are people who might kill for you, but will they DIE for you?
naomi:
Complex characters like that usually evoke strong reactions in people. He sounds great.
E
lainey:
Great insight. Loyalty comes in degrees. My God . . . just really a great point. True, true, true. We first learn that lesson as kids or adolescents. We have our "best friend" who dumps us when someone more popular comes along or when we don't make the team with him. And we have the best friend who really is. The person we realize is our brother or sister under the skin.
I have seen it in my life a hundred times. And it's why, despite occasionally running into gossips and back-stabbers, I won't change the way I operate, which is just to do good, as much as possible, every waking minute. My loyalty is pretty firm. I feel comfortable with my actions. And I'd die for any of my kids in a heartbeat.
Peace in every step.
E
Here's an interesting dilemma I read somewhere a long time ago:
Your boat capsizes, and your spouse and child are knocked unconscious. They're both still alive, but you can only save one of them. Which one do you save?
Jude:
Are you delusional? The child. No brainer. Not even one proton of brain matter on that one.
Funny (or not) . . . when pregnant with my third of four, they discovered I had a cardiomyopathy. I delivered with a Swans-Ganz catheter in my heart, and more equipment than I care to recall. The whole pregnancy was an ordeal. And at some point, I said to my significant other, about 18 hours into labor, when the catheter had to get yanked out and a new one inserted pronto, "If it's between me and the baby, choose the baby and don't ever look back or doubt it." He hesitated. I don't know if it's a maternal thing or what. Not that he wouldn't, push comes to shove, have chosen her, but . . . you know, it just seemed like something too awful to contemplate, whereas I was really quite calm about it.
Now killing off my book characters . . . I cried at the end of The Roofer and for two weeks after didn't answer my phone or open the curtains. But that was the only one I got so distraught over. In Invisible Girl, I cried also. Different kind of tears.
I must admit that I'm about to delve into a subject that I'm afraid would attract me too much:
Devil Worship.
I'm already anticipating that I'm going to like my Devil character a little too much. Becuase much as I try to stomp it down and quash it, there's a big, giant devil inside me always bursting to come out.
karm:
I have a Satanic plot in one of mine (ST thriller, not for Nocturne) and admit to getting creeped out. BUT, in my next RDI, the devil is deliciously hilarious and quite suave.
E
Erica:
I would choose the child too.
What's interesting, though, is whoever presented that dilemma when I first read it (and I think it was Ann Landers again) said that you should choose your spouse. She said that your marital relationship should be the most important one you have, and that the two of you can always have more children together.
Interesting...
I guess if I were lucky enough to ever find a soul mate, the choice might not be such a no-brainer. I don't know. I can't imagine ever loving anyone with the same unconditional love I have for my child. Ideally, I guess that's the kind of love you should have with a spouse, though.
Jude:
Well, blog-wise, I'm digressing . . . but you're natural life journey would conclude with your death--or your spouse's or partner's. Your children should not pre-decease you. So . . . if you choose to have children, by all natural instinct, you sacrifice for them and rear them to adulthood. I guess on one level, I just think the more adult way to examine it is I would survive my Significant Other's death. But if I lost a child . . . it's too much to bear.
E
I don't think we're digressing that much from the blog topic, because the subject of loyalty came up (our personal loyalties and those of our fictional characters).
I think Ann Landers's point was, when you choose a spouse, you should be loyal to that person for the rest of your life. Your love for that person should rise above all others--including your blood relatives and even your kids.
This might be a silly hypothetical, but here goes:
Let's say the couple in the boat are young and just starting out, and let's say they are indeed soul mates. When the boat tips over, the husband saves his wife and their child drowns. They are heartbroken, of course, but they still have each other--soul mates--and they go on to have several more children and grandchildren etc. If the husband had let his wife drown, none of those future children would have existed.
Like I said, I would choose the child to save too. But I can kind of see the other side of the argument.
Thanks E. I think it is really easy to love your character. I think most will fall in love with Raiden.
He's ruthless but has a caring side.
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