Pass the Tissues
Well, we certainly had a lively discussion about things that go bump in the night, and I've come to the completely non-statistical conclusion that clown-phobia is a lot more common than I thought!
Now to turn our attention to things that call for the box of tissues. Movies that are sad are called "four-hankie" movies, "weepers," and so on. And critics are quick to get annoyed with those movies that seem to toy with us--manipulate us just to go for the "easy cry," so to speak.
I myself cannot watch the St. Jude's Hospital telethon without crying so hard I'm makig noise and blotchy--I am NOT an attractive crier. There's a great deal of mucus involved. Messy, messy, messy.
Anything having to do with my own children being sick or being hurt emotionally--from bullies to loneliness--makes me cry. When my best pals have problems, I am there to listen as they confront infertility, betrayals, and life's cruelties. And I often cry.
If I feel I am being manipulated . . . then I am less likely to cry--that goes for personal relationships and books and movies. What really gets me in a movie or a book is something far more nuanced. For instance, while I had friends who could not get through LOST IN TRANSLATION (too boring!), I sobbed at the end. Great, wracking tears! Yet. . . Sofia Coppola's earlier, more obvious sobfest, The Virgin Suicides left me ice cold. It telegraphed every God awful thing that was going to happen, and it seemed so obvious.
When I wrote DO THEY WEAR HIGH HEELS IN HEAVEN, I knew I had to be careful. We're all so jaded, "disease of the week" movies and all that . . . you have to watch to make your character's struggles seem real, authentic, organic. That's why that book was far less about breast cancer and far more about the love of friends.
What else makes me cry?
Beethoven's 9th
Any story of child abuse
Moments of deep prayer when I realize that I just am never going to be as kind or good or generous as I would like to be
When I think about my grandma
Talking for too long about my beloved dog, Honi, who died three years ago
Clowns
(Just kidding on the clowns--that's from the Things That Go Bump post, and you have to READ the comments to believe 'em!)
And you?
Now to turn our attention to things that call for the box of tissues. Movies that are sad are called "four-hankie" movies, "weepers," and so on. And critics are quick to get annoyed with those movies that seem to toy with us--manipulate us just to go for the "easy cry," so to speak.
I myself cannot watch the St. Jude's Hospital telethon without crying so hard I'm makig noise and blotchy--I am NOT an attractive crier. There's a great deal of mucus involved. Messy, messy, messy.
Anything having to do with my own children being sick or being hurt emotionally--from bullies to loneliness--makes me cry. When my best pals have problems, I am there to listen as they confront infertility, betrayals, and life's cruelties. And I often cry.
If I feel I am being manipulated . . . then I am less likely to cry--that goes for personal relationships and books and movies. What really gets me in a movie or a book is something far more nuanced. For instance, while I had friends who could not get through LOST IN TRANSLATION (too boring!), I sobbed at the end. Great, wracking tears! Yet. . . Sofia Coppola's earlier, more obvious sobfest, The Virgin Suicides left me ice cold. It telegraphed every God awful thing that was going to happen, and it seemed so obvious.
When I wrote DO THEY WEAR HIGH HEELS IN HEAVEN, I knew I had to be careful. We're all so jaded, "disease of the week" movies and all that . . . you have to watch to make your character's struggles seem real, authentic, organic. That's why that book was far less about breast cancer and far more about the love of friends.
What else makes me cry?
Beethoven's 9th
Any story of child abuse
Moments of deep prayer when I realize that I just am never going to be as kind or good or generous as I would like to be
When I think about my grandma
Talking for too long about my beloved dog, Honi, who died three years ago
Clowns
(Just kidding on the clowns--that's from the Things That Go Bump post, and you have to READ the comments to believe 'em!)
And you?
posted by Erica Orloff at 4:33 PM
16 Comments:
Hi Erica,
Certain stories and songs about love and loss do it for me, as does anything where a child is mistreated.
The movie DEAD POET'S SOCIETY
James Patterson's THE LAKE HOUSE
Ricky Van Shelton's "I'll leave This World Loving You"
Eric Segal's LOVE STORY
Janis Joplin's version of "Me and Bobby Magee"
Hemingway's A FAREWELL TO ARMS
The movie THE FAMILY MAN
The list goes on and on.
And sometimes, something intensely beautiful makes me cry, like certain pieces of classical music or poetry, or when someone I adore loves me too.
Well that'a a hard one because I don't like to show the particular emotion.
The song by ? I don't the singer but Butterful Kisses.
movie- Powder
That's all since I don't like to watch drama.
Jude:
See, again . . . as with fear, what pulls on us all is different. While I cried in Dead Poets, I mostly got mad, and I hate feeling angry in a movie theater. And Love Story didn't do it for me . . . but, like I said, then I can see something as subtle as a look of regret in a movie or in life and be a mess!
E
P.S. On the beautiful music etc.--so totally me.
la:
I pretty much avoid movies etc. where I know it's a weeper--like a lot of women, I think, I have to "need" a "good cry." Like if there's a build-up of tension and stress in my life, I innately know if I would just get it over with and have a good cry, I'd feel better--and out pops the sad movies. But I usually, and you can ask anyone in my life this, if I see a commercial for a love story movie or something where sadness is implied, I wait for my friends to see it then call them and say, "did it have a happy ending?" I don't want to invest in it if I'm not going to have some emotional reward at the end.
E
The only film I've ever cried at was "Watership Down" - and it gets me every single time, without fail.
Erica:
DEAD POET'S SOCIETY made me angry too, the part where the one boy killed himself because his dad wouldn't let him follow his dream of being an actor. What got me... (this was the only movie I ever went to a theater alone to see, and I hadn't read anything about it prior to seeing it. I almost DIDN'T go that day because I saw it was Robin Williams and figured it was a screwball comedy which I wasn't in the mood for)...what got me was when the shy boy stood on his desk at the end and said "Captain, oh my captain." I think it reminded me of my "angels" I talked about on my blog.
And LOVE STORY (the novel, not the movie), it wasn't the fact that Jenny died in the end. No surprise there, he tells us she died on the first page of the book. It was the whole love lost, soul mate thing, and it reminded me of the one who got away in my own life (she didn't die, but there was no way we could ever be together again).
Anyway, yes, different things do touch us all differently. I think it's a great writer, though, who can make that happen on multiple levels.
naomi:
That book is such a wonderful favorite, and I enjoyed the movie, too, though I would love to see it with modern animation--like Miyazaki.
E
Jude:
I hear you--believe me, I cried in Dead Poets, it's just when I think back on it, all I can remember is the suicide scene. As a mom, I see other moms crush the spirit out of their kids. It's horrifying.
Great point about multiple levels. What I take from a great novel will not be what you take. And I think the best of literature really is compelling that way. Like when you ask people about a beloved book and you aks them their favorite line or scene and you get a thousand different answers--the sign of a book that touches in so many different ways!
My favorite--along that lines--is The Little Prince. But my favorite part is the first chapter or so--about the elephant who swalloed a hat. I think it's brilliant and poignant--yet that's not what is typically considered the poignant part of the book!
E
When I read "Pass the Tissues" I realized that I haven't allowed myself to cry in quite a while, nary a tear has been shed.
That build up up for a good cry that Erica mentioned is cresting, so I figure I'm over due.
The movie HOPE FLOATS made me cry. When the daughter wants so desperately to go with her father and her father doesn't want her--and the mother sits and watches it happens, only to scoop up her daughter in her arms when the father drives away.
The move, the LAKE HOUSE caused me to snuffle in the theater. Unrequited love, separated by the span of time.
SECOND HAND LIONS made me cry...the humor and tenderness was poignant.
OPEN RANGE...now that's a classic tear jerker.
Now, off to rewatch HOPE FLOATS and have that good cry.
kathy:
I wonder if men go through that phenomenon. The overdue "good cry."
I sobbed with happiness at the end of Secondhand Lions. LOVED that movie--shocked myself that I did, in fact. It was playing in the theaters and I took my kids, not really knowing a darn thing about it beforehand.
Gosh, HOPE FLOATS. Such a universal thing about watching our kids get their hearts broken. Sigh.
I went and saw THE LAKE HOUSE. I went with my teen daughter and I was shocked at how affected I was by it. Loved it--and hadn't expected to like it as much as I did. The scenes with the difficult father were so poignant (Keanu Reeves' father).
All good "overdue cry" flicks. I also like the "oldies" movies--B&W weepers. I had my sister and my daughter HOWLING with laughter this summer. I watched CAMILLE on AMC while staying with my sister for two weeks. I was sobbing at the end of the movie, talking to the TV. "Don't do it, Camille. You know he loves you! . . . DON'T . . . NO!!!!!!!!!!!" And my daughter and sister were laughing (because like all classic weepers the manipulation and overacting were ongoing!) at me. Then my daughter sits straight up and looks at me with this realization and says, "You're ridiculous. Haven't you SEEN this movie before?" To which I gave the classic old movie buff answer, "A DOZEN TIMES! It's Greta Garbo! Robert Taylor! My God, I OWN THE DAMN THING ON VHS I've seen it so much!"
To which I think any of the men who regularly read this blog are now shaking their heads going, "You know, I KNEW that Orloff chick was weird."
E
Movies that I do not watch because it just tears me up too much:
Dead Poets Society
Beaches
Steel Magnolias
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
A Walk To Remember
... and that damned X-Mas movie with Jimmy Stewart...
Of course, my wife loves it that I cry at a movie. Just makes her love me more. But it messes me up emotionally for a good week or two when it happens.
I've lost too many people that I love(d) in my life to want to 'have a good cry'. I'll stick with happy. Never seems to be enough of that going around :)
Ewoh:
OMG, I never even got INTO Christmas movies. Sigh . . . yes, I well up at that one EVERY year.
As for A Walk to Remember. You know, because it had a heavy Christian theme, I avoided it. I just didn't think it would be my cup of tea. And then one night on cable, my youngest daughter watched it. I bawled my eyes out and then when it was over cried some more. It was that girls' faith that was so lovely.
Anyway, I hear you . . . I presonally like happy movies better.
Oh . . . another one--wrecked me for two weeks after--Schindler's List.
E
I guess I'm holding it in for something really big. Movies don't make me cry. Books and songs don't either. Guess I'm just from that stoic generation.
coming in late here, but the one movie that I actually prepare for by setting the kleenex on the coffee table is City Of Angels. I love that movie, but it makes me bawl! I've seen her bite the big one at the end dozens of times now, and it STILL makes me cry.
Sigh...
M
Steve:
I definitely can go, in my personal life, a long, long time without crying. It's just the arts--music and movies and paintings and books--can very much move me.
E
Michele:
I loved that movie as a concept piece, definitely. The angels being all around us.
And I love anything Andre Braugher does.
E
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