Weird Crap I Know
This post is all in fun--but also true.
When you are an editor, particularly if you are a freelance one and get to work on a wide swath of books, you accumulate a lot of information. Work as a novelist, and you'll likely do research . . . interview people, check out cool careers, find out how much a liver is supposed to weigh in an autopsy. Just a weird assorted tumble of strange facts.
So strange that I sincerely hope and pray no one I know is ever bumped off in supicious circumstance in which I am a suspect. Why? Because in this era of Big Brother, the utterly criminal list of my searches on Google is immense. For instance, I now know how to make methamphetimines in a home lab from an Internet recipe. I also know strange facts about how much antifreeze you need to kill someone. And the best food to put it in. I know the best way to kill yourself with pills--and the best food to put it in.
I know how to judge a dairy cow (don't ask! it involved editing a book twenty years ago). I know enough about superstring theory to carry on a reasonable conversation with a physicist--and enough to now know that most scientists bristle at calling it a "theory" and say it should be termed an "idea." I know a smattering about castrati. I know about filling a dead body with embalming fluid.
More? Well, I don't cook. At all. So when I had to put in a book about someone cooking an egg . . . I turned to the Internet to find out how long you should boil an egg to make hard-boiled eggs. I also found out--rather astonishingly--that there isn't ONE way to make hard-boiled eggs. Everyone has their opinion on how long those suckers should float around in boiling water.
I know Bram Stoker was bedridden for most of his childhood. I know that if a man pierces his scrotum (people will pierce anything nowadays), it can be very bloody--lots of blood vessels down there (don't try this at home).
So . . . what do you know? Do you have some obscure fact that was perfect for a book you were working on?
When you are an editor, particularly if you are a freelance one and get to work on a wide swath of books, you accumulate a lot of information. Work as a novelist, and you'll likely do research . . . interview people, check out cool careers, find out how much a liver is supposed to weigh in an autopsy. Just a weird assorted tumble of strange facts.
So strange that I sincerely hope and pray no one I know is ever bumped off in supicious circumstance in which I am a suspect. Why? Because in this era of Big Brother, the utterly criminal list of my searches on Google is immense. For instance, I now know how to make methamphetimines in a home lab from an Internet recipe. I also know strange facts about how much antifreeze you need to kill someone. And the best food to put it in. I know the best way to kill yourself with pills--and the best food to put it in.
I know how to judge a dairy cow (don't ask! it involved editing a book twenty years ago). I know enough about superstring theory to carry on a reasonable conversation with a physicist--and enough to now know that most scientists bristle at calling it a "theory" and say it should be termed an "idea." I know a smattering about castrati. I know about filling a dead body with embalming fluid.
More? Well, I don't cook. At all. So when I had to put in a book about someone cooking an egg . . . I turned to the Internet to find out how long you should boil an egg to make hard-boiled eggs. I also found out--rather astonishingly--that there isn't ONE way to make hard-boiled eggs. Everyone has their opinion on how long those suckers should float around in boiling water.
I know Bram Stoker was bedridden for most of his childhood. I know that if a man pierces his scrotum (people will pierce anything nowadays), it can be very bloody--lots of blood vessels down there (don't try this at home).
So . . . what do you know? Do you have some obscure fact that was perfect for a book you were working on?
posted by Erica Orloff at 9:29 PM
9 Comments:
For my first novel I researched animal rendering plants. It was quite an eye opener, learning about what happens to the parts of dead animals unfit for human consumption. The original idea was that the giant grinder and subsequent processing would be the perfect way for a murderer to dispose or a human body. I used what I learned on the internet coupled with my own experiences in industrial settings.
For the novel I'm working on now, I'm researching something I've only told two people about. It involves quite a bit of microbiology, and I think it'll make for interesting conflicts among the characters and perhaps some controversy among readers when it's published.
Erica, I am now going to teach you how to make perfect hard-boiled eggs. This is my own method, learned by trial and error:
In the pot of your choice (something big enough in diameter so that the number of eggs you're cooking can rest in a single layer on the bottom, and deep enough to completely submerge the eggs), gently lower each egg into lukewarm tap water. Put the pot on the stove, set to low, and gradually increase the heat to medium high (if you raise the temperature too fast, some of the eggs will crack). As soon as the water starts to boil, set your timer for five minutes. As soon as the five minutes are up, set the pot in the sink and bathe the eggs with COLD tap water until they're cool enough to handle. Voila! Hard boiled heaven. :)
Pop quiz. I want you to try it and then let me know how it comes out. The kids and neighbors will be so impressed with your culinary skills!
BTW, you didn't start thinking about scrotum piercing because of my Roboto-tron Top Ten, did you?
Ouch!
Jude:
See, now you are a man of many talents. Aside from the fact that I remain slightly wary of a writer who knows so much about grinding human bodies . . . you can also make hard-boiled eggs. I will try it. My kids all adore eggs. They only like the white part though--so the yolks get fed to my birds. I know, sounds cannibalistic, but it's good for them.
E
Jude:
LOL!
NO, I did not think of it for that. I had a character into extremem piercing and owning a tattoo parlor. :-)
E
Most of the stuff I use in my book I knew. How? I had a weird habit when I was young to pick a top and research it. Greek Mythology, clothes, witch craft and the Titanic. I know just weird facts about shit.
My husbands the sameway.
la:
You know, I have discovered you either love weird trivia or don't give it a thought. My kids used to watch Who Wants to be a Millionaire. They used to run into my office and ask me these weird non-sequiters. "What type of wood is used on the dashboard of a Jaguar?" "Who invented the periodic table?" etc. I used to barely look up and rattle off all this fairly useless trivia. So then they were trying to get me to go ON the show. LOL! I think they envisioned taking "my" winnings and going on an immense shopping spree.
When I was a kid, I mostly read fiction--but the one thing I researched obsessively was marine biology. Just loved it--though I have never even been on a SCUBA dive.
I haven't come across many things, but I do know that pulling someone's nose hair out with tweezers is used as a form of torture.
And if you want to check if there's a bomb under your car hold a mirror under it so you can see the underneath.
My eyes are watering just thinking about those tweezers, Sara.
Jude, it makes mine water.... every time I think about it!
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