Sharing
One of Hollywood's leading idiots, Owen Wilson, mocked, of all people, the Dalai Lama. His Holiness had been asked what was the solution to world hunger, and his response was "Sharing." Apparently Wilson finds this answer idiotic.
But really . . . if we ALL shared, if all nations shared, if all human being shared, there wouldn't be want or hunger. There is enough for all of us.
It's Thanksgiving week. Time to share. Wednesday I head to the Food Bank. I have enough food, so why not SHARE?
And then . . . this comes back, importantly, to writing. Very much so. I have, over the years, shared my agent's name and number with aspiring writers, I have blogged as much as I can about what I know about the industry, writing, etc. I have no problem sharing what this editor or that has told me he or she is looking for. But I know I am in the minority. It seems like MOST writers, once they make it, or even while they are trying to make it, guard information so closely. They share nothing. J.A. Konrath is an exception. There are a few others.
A couple of people even posted here last week about how several writers, once they got their first deal, started acting downright imperious. It happens. A lot.
Why? There's a FEAR at the root of not sharing. I won't have enough if I give too much away. If I give until it hurts, then what about ME? People think there are a finite amount of book slots, a finite amount of success to go around. I don't believe that.
So, I just ask everyone this week to share. Do something small, something big, something kind, for someone else. Better yet, do it and don't tell them.
How about you? Do you find people share in the writing community? Are do people keep connections closely guarded? And why do you think that is so? What about in the world at large? Have we all become cynics? I hope not . . . .
But really . . . if we ALL shared, if all nations shared, if all human being shared, there wouldn't be want or hunger. There is enough for all of us.
It's Thanksgiving week. Time to share. Wednesday I head to the Food Bank. I have enough food, so why not SHARE?
And then . . . this comes back, importantly, to writing. Very much so. I have, over the years, shared my agent's name and number with aspiring writers, I have blogged as much as I can about what I know about the industry, writing, etc. I have no problem sharing what this editor or that has told me he or she is looking for. But I know I am in the minority. It seems like MOST writers, once they make it, or even while they are trying to make it, guard information so closely. They share nothing. J.A. Konrath is an exception. There are a few others.
A couple of people even posted here last week about how several writers, once they got their first deal, started acting downright imperious. It happens. A lot.
Why? There's a FEAR at the root of not sharing. I won't have enough if I give too much away. If I give until it hurts, then what about ME? People think there are a finite amount of book slots, a finite amount of success to go around. I don't believe that.
So, I just ask everyone this week to share. Do something small, something big, something kind, for someone else. Better yet, do it and don't tell them.
How about you? Do you find people share in the writing community? Are do people keep connections closely guarded? And why do you think that is so? What about in the world at large? Have we all become cynics? I hope not . . . .
posted by Erica Orloff at 8:26 AM
28 Comments:
I would never have landed my agent if my crit partner hadn't mentioned me to him. And I wouldn't hesitate to do the same - I'm a big believer in karma. What goes around comes around, whether good or bad.
naomi:
Congrats! And that is just wonderful. I always feel what goes around comes around, too.
E
My epiphany after reading everything Hemingway ever published, never shared with anyone until now:
1)Take a complex story and make it simple
2)Structure the narrative in planes, where one thought intersects another
3)Give the central character a name, and leave it at that (don’t try to write a “characterization”)
4)Allow the central character to guide the story with his/her perceptions. Describe only what the central character could have seen, heard, etc.
5)Make the foil an ally gone bad
6)End the story abruptly, as if the ending were nothing but a pause in the main character’s perceptions
7)Be brave and write what you feel
8)Chapters are only to give the reader a comfortable stopping point. There should be no crisp delineation from one chapter to the next
9)“Love” is confusing, and should not intrude as the central theme. Neither concrete nor abstract, it should be used sparingly
10)Write it straight. No tricks or gimmicks
11)Understanding of the central character should be a little greater by the end, but not complete
Sharing. It is really that simple, but unfortunately not an easy concept to sell in our self-indulgent society.
Ironically, the kids and I were returning home after donating for Thanksgiving drive (a few weeks ago here)
We get in the MV and seconds later the radio is talking about the 'first date after baby' for Tom C & Katie H. It was reported that they spent $10 000 on a single glamorous dinner!!!!
All I could think is 'Damn! How many hungry little kids could have had a good lunch for that kind$$$'
In the writing community, I've been fortunate enough to seek out 'sharing' people, although I have caught a glimpse of that 'fear' you mention. I definitely think it is fear born of insecurity that makes certain people close-mouthed about advice or contacts. 'What if they take up my book slot???what if they sell more copies???'
That sort of thing. IMO
Anonymous:
Brilliant insights.
E
This post has been removed by the author.
Lainey:
I hear you . . . Sometimes it's discouraging, but we have to just try to do good in our little corner.
E
Hi Erica, I've lurked on your blog for some time now as I find your take on writing/life/etc. very interesting. I must admit that I used to be one of those people that didn't share - as you've correctly surmised, fear was at the root of my selfishness. But I finally realized that fear only bred more fear and that sharing what I knew not only helped someone else, it helped me as well. I thoroughly enjoy sharing my knowledge (such as it is) with other writers and I've found that I always learn something from them as well. Life is just too damned short to go through it being scared someone else is going to get your slot. Actually, I think His Holiness had it right, sharing would solve world hunger and many other problems facing this world.
Hope everyone has a great day.
Cheryl/Emily
Hi Emily:
Thanks for sharing. :-) I always love your posts at Dana's blog.
I understand that the instant reaction that "it can't be that simple . . ." is natural. But we can all at least aspire to an ideal.
I have had one or two writers I've helped . . . then do something a bit back-stabbing. But you know . . . if you accept that sharing means it's simply the ideal of you that you wish to be, then you learn to let it go and think, instead, of all the kind and wonderful souls you meet along the way.
E
Erica, I totally believe in sharing. In writing as well in other area's of my life. Yearly we go through our closets and give shelters good clothes. I give to the food bank and Salvation Army. My daughter gave all her unused toys to the childrens hospital. She really enjoyed doing it. She said that it made her feel good.
la:
I think giving does benefit us way more than the person we help. I used to mentor unwed teen moms, and before that worked with political refugee resettlement. There were times when I would think I was just too exhausted from my own family and so on to be able to do it. But I'd go anyway, and always came back energized.
E
I'll share anything with anyone... always have done. And writers I'm friends with have always been so generous with their time and support - maybe it's a case of like being attracted to like!
Once, though, someone asked me why I was being so helpful (this wasn't a writer, but someone I worked with) she thought I must have an ulterior motive. I was totally stunned that someone could think that....
sara:
I would say that most writers I've met fall into the helpful category, too. But I guess, like anything, the ones who haven't been are kind of memorable.
:-)
E
When my son was four, he had saved his allowance for weeks and had $24. One day, the ice cream man came by and he ran out and bought $24 worth of ice cream--spent every penny he had--and shared it with his friends.
I guess we could all learn a lot from a four year-old.
Once I'm published (not too far out there on the horizon, I hope), I would love to set up a local mentoring program. Perhaps maybe even put together a contest of sorts, with local news paper editors, writers, etc. as judges for contestants, say ages 13 and up. The winner would receive 6 months mentor time, second place 3 months, and third place 1 month. OR maybe 1 year, 6 months, and 3 months. I am so appreciative of the few-and-far-between fearless folks that have taken the time to give guidance and suggestions and instruction; therefore, giving others a helping hand or nudge would be an honor.
Jude:
What a great story! Kids can be the most giving of all.
E
kathy:
I've mentored a couple fo writers--one formally through my old university. It's always an honor because as I was trying to learn, I really didn't have anyone to show me the ropes too much.
E
I always try to give like I would like someone to give to me... I know it is a cliche, but it works for me.
Sometimes sharing is allowing someone to contribute to you as well. That can be harder than giving of yourself to another... just like success can be harder than failure.
Thank you Erica for sharing with us on your blog. It makes a big difference for me on a daily basis.
ewoh:
That is very sweet of you to say.
As for allowing others to help us . . . that is a very hard lesson for a lot of us. As Americans (don't know about New Zealanders like Sara), we're raised on that can-do independent ethic. Getting really sick changed my perspective on accepting help. And two years ago, when I had this M.S.-like problem after the birth of my youngest, and I couldn't walk . . . same thing. It taught me to be humble. Renting wheelchairs and things . . . lets you "accept" help in a huge way. Sometimes I think I just needed to learn that.
E
Sharing on a small scale is easy. Sharing globally becomes infinitely more complicated.
With writing, I share probably TOO much. LOL I never hesitate to offer my "wisdom" gained over the years, whether it's truly wise or not. And I can't think of anyone who has ever refused to to the same.
Sharing in other ways, though...sure, I donate food and clothes and books and do what I can. I'm too stingy with my time and my personal energy, though. And when I offer money, it turns into a bombardment of begging that just brings frustration and despair. I can't give enough to any cause to make a difference, and giving to ALL of them? It's enough to make me feel like a parasite on the earth.
Sharing to end world hunger is, IMO, naive. We (collectively) try. But what good does it do when food rots or is stolen or land is decimated by the warlords in countries where famine is so prevalent? The idea is predicated on a universal selflessness that just doesn't exist.
That doesn't mean we should stop! Saving even one life makes all the effort worth it, of course.
Signed, the cynic :(
Hi Natalie:
Yes, you always share your writing wisdom--and it IS wise. All our experiences, together, can help each other glean information about this crazy biz called publishing.
As for world poverty . . . I'm a follower of Jeffrey D. Sachs out of Columbia University:
http://www.earth.columbia.edu/
I feel like it cannot be hopeless, we cannot be discouraged, and we must take action. The goal to end world poverty is noble, and certainly more noble than any war goals any nation, including our own, have. So I read a lot of Sach's position papers and tend to believe it is doable. Naive maybe. But the human crisis is as urgent as any we have ever faced, and I hope people wake up to it.
E
I'm with Naomi. I'll willingly share with the caveat that I don't know everything and it's just my opinion. On the flip side, I noticed a strange phenomenon after I sold to NY. I didn't feel like whatever I had to share was any more valid or important but I noticed other people did. As if somehow I was more worthy after selling. I don't do BS or games so this doesn't sit well with me at all. =(
Hi Amie:
I don't think being pubbed makes my opinion anything more than that--an opinion--either. I might have come insider knowledge. But beyond that, I'm here to learn.
E
I know I'm late to the party, but I just wanted to tell you how much I loved this post.
I don't know how much wisdom (or anything else) I have to share, but I do try to share everything I can. To me, it really is as simple as sharing.
Great post from a great girl.
:) d
Erica it was very scary!!!! And disturbingly eye-opening. *sigh*
Dana:
Thanks, Sweetie!
:-)
E
Amie:
You know, this biz has some oddities to it, and that's one of them. But on the flip side, there are plenty of authors who forget to be humble, so . . .
E
LOL I guess it all balances out!
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