Facing Down the Demons

I am working on a book with literal demons--happens when you write paranormals sometimes. But I think it's a good metaphor for the writing life.

Author Mary Castillo (and if you haven't read her, run out to buy her wonderful books) had a brilliant blog entry about selling yourself and stepping outside of your comfort zone. I read it nodding, yeah, that's me, that's me, that's me.

A lot of writers who have sold have the fear they'll be discovered as a fraud--that happened to one of my best friends.

For me, I think one of my biggest fears is the well will run dry. It's never happened, I've never (knock wood) been blocked. But I have had bouts of exhaustion, of wondering if I can really keep doing this--someday, don't know when, won't I just run out of coherent books and plots? My other big fear is more a frustration, that what I see in my head won't come out the way I want it to on paper. I "see it"--damn you, writing gods--can't I pour it out just that way, so everyone else can see it, too?

I can add a half-dozen other writer neuroses. We don't have the corner market on them, but we usually have an abundance.

It takes some kind of intellectual and emotional fortitude to write 350 pages of a story--to actually do it. I wouldn't call it courage--that's an overused word in our culture. But it takes some discipline, creativity, intelligence, energy. To do it again and again . . . takes some more of the same. But the other part of it, the part we don't always speak about, are the demons and monsters under the bed. They're usually waiting for us writers. I was recently profiled in the Richmond Times Dispatch. I told the reporter is was like living with a lot of voices in your head. Or a whole house full of ghosts. I could have added that sometimes they're friendly ghosts. But sometimes? Not so much.

How about you? What writing demons do you have to stare down?