What I Know Now

Sometimes the gap between what I know now, and what I knew twenty years ago is HUGE. A chasm as big as the Grand Canyon.

For instance, now I know that one toddler, left to his own devices in the amount of time it takes to sign for a package for UPS can get into a five-pound bag of sugar and sprinkle it like confetti over an entire kitchen. In that same amount of time, he can cover the dog in Post-its and packing tape. I know that no sooner are you in your best outfit . . . that the universe will hand you a child who projectile vomits. I know these things.

I know some sad things. Like some people are simply treacherous. Or they lie. They go through life and it isn't even a blip on their own radar that they are as ruthless as they are. When I was 18 and encountered people who told treacherous lies, I was always shocked and hurt beyond belief. My parents said I was too sensitive--and they were probably right, but I am who I am. Now, though, I am more likely to sigh. It doesn't change who I am, how I conduct myself, but now I know those people are out there.

Now I know that sometimes being nice isn't enough. I know sometimes, like the case with my mother-in-law, that there are people who will simply go out of their way to be cruel, or will dislike you just because they can. I know some people for whom friendship and loyalty is a throwaway item. I know you can't save everyone, even if you try REALLY hard. I know you can beg or plead with someone to stop drinking, stop taking drugs, or to get psychiatric help . . . and they won't. Just because. Loving someone isn't enough. Love can't save the world. It can save YOU, because love is good for you . . . but it can't save someone else. At least not always. Not that I would ever stop trying to save the world through love. (And that's both crazy and true.)

And I know a LOT more about writing than I ever did twenty years ago. I decided to pick a couple of things . . . figuring my regular blog readers will fill in many more:

1. I now know that writing a great book is the first step but not every great book sells.
2. I now know that weighing down a sentence with too many adjectives--while it may have earned you Brownie points with your high school English teacher--will lead to clunky, leaden prose.
3. I now know that adverb abuse--same deal with your high school English teacher and its effect on your prose.
4. I now know there aren't as many rules as you think. You can start a sentence with "Because." Your dialogue can be realistic and disjointed and even confusing because sometimes that's how people talk--every character doesn't speak like a soliloquy. If they did . . . that wooden prose thing again.
5. I now know it's a LOT more interesting to read about people who are shades of gray--not ALL good and saintly--or ALL bad an evil.

So those are a few things I know now. What about you?