Where's the Bathroom?

There probably isn't an author alive who has done more than a few signings, who hasn't had one turn out to be a bust. Or humiliating. A lot of authors tell of sitting at a table, laden with books, waiting for their legions of fans--who they know are out there somewhere--to find them, and then being asked by wandering patrons of the bookstore, "Do you know where the bathroom is?" I have never been asked this, but I decided long ago my stock answer would be, wink and smile and say, "Buy one of my books, and I'll tell ya."

I have also met a LOT of writers along the way who this writing thing is more about dreams of fame (delusions of fame?) than the craft. For me, the business of promoting has been taking stock of my reality and deciding where to spend my time (because I still have to WRITE . . .).

Fact: I have 24 hours in the day. Much as I try to bend the laws of time and space, the fact is I get allotted 24 hours--the same as everybody else. There is a tipping point in my life--always precarious. At some point, I can't do it all. That is my reality. So let's start there.

Fact: I have four kids. Yeah, they tell high school girls how to prevent that, but no, apparently I skipped that class in health. The reality is also that I cannot do it all AND be a full-time mother to four very busy, very creative children, each with interests and needs. So I PICK and CHOOSE what outside-the-house promo to do.

Fact: I have a Demon Baby. Yes, this last one was apparently spawned by Satan. I cannot bring him with me to a bookstore to do signings. Period. The others I might be able to bribe ("Sit quietly and I'll buy you ALL the books you want"; or "Go tell that woman over there that your mother has written a wonderful book, and if she buys one I'll give you a dollar."). Demon Baby will not be bribed. Not even by the promise of Sweet Tarts. So any book signings require childcare.

Fact: As I wrote in the comments sections yesterday, people like me adore the advent of the blog tour. We love the internet. I don't see a huge pay-out for bookstore signings. I have had some packed ones, and I have had some ghost-town ones. I agree that it's a great opportunity to meet the people who work there, to leave an impression. I love the indie chains like this one, which is definitely, to my mind, the nicest owner/bookstore I have ever dealt with. Actually, though I had brought a dozen or so family members to my signing, there was some kind of block-off-the-road thing going on, so my signing was rather quiet there. BUT, she had requests via telephone from some regulars to her store for signed copies of my books, and I signed maybe 40 books that day. This store has been great to me in my new town, and manned the signing at a speaking engagement I did. Thank you to them! So I will do signings, but man, I love being able to promo at blogs and not leave the house.

Fact: There's one of me. Yup. Can't clone myself. Not yet anyway. So to me, there's also the fact that driving to bookstores to meet a set amount of people (probably small number) isn't, given the facts above, the best use of my time. This might not be true if I had a different life--older children, no kids, etc. And again, I don't see a huge return for signings. But . . . see the next paragraph.

Fact: I can blab. What DOES pay for me in terms of in-person promo are speaking engagements. I did one earlier this year with, give or take, 75 people for wine and cheese for a library function. They had an indie bookstore there to do a signing afterwards. We sold out of every copy, of every book--20 of this one, 20 of that one, 20 of another. You get the idea. I used to hate public speaking. But once I honed an interactive, fun presentation that works for my personality, it's actually become a good time. Plus there was wine. I think that's part of the key. No, not the wine. Finding a talk I can give comfortably. There is nothing, to me anyway, worse than listening to an author read (often in monotone) a book for pages and pages. I want to be engaged. I found a presentation that works with my speaking style, which is to interact with the audience and think on my feet versus a canned speech. I spoke to the library group I mentioned (75 people), and that led to two more (including one paid speaking engagement and one with a lovely lunch and a great time!), and then one of those led to another. You get the idea. Everyone I've done this year led to a couple of more--all with a nice turnout so far. Also, versus a book signing, I have a more captive audience.

Fact: Sometimes, it's a crapshoot. I have had some amazing press. Magazines I've gotten mentions in include: US Weekly (twice my book was the Hot Book Pick), American Girl (feature with photos), Women's World (feature with photos), Kiplinger's, FORTUNE, Cosmopolitan, Romantic Times (feature), and a few others. I've consistently gotten full stories and spreads in my hometown newspapers--last time with beautiful four-color photos (the one with this post is from one shoot). But the fact is sometimes I can correlate sales with a good placement--and sometimes it didn't make a blip. My best sales were for this book, and to be totally honest, some promo that my agent had been told the book was going to get did not happen. It was a word of mouth happening--and it won "Book of the Year" at one online site . . . got some great reviews, etc. It also benefited from a nice following in the gay community--and at one point was one of Amazon's "top ten gay romances"--even though that was a subplot. I was gratified by all the fan emails I got from gay men who treasured the book . . . so word of mouth helped there, aside from the chick lit/romance community.

Fact: I like people. Truly. So if people comment on my blog, I respond. If they write to me, I write back. I get emails every day from readers and I try to write back to every single one. Maybe someday that will be impossible, but for now, it's managable--and given the Demon Baby/four kids thing, writing back online is doable for me--more so, right now, than signings.

Fact: Get 'em to read. There was recently a discussion about royalty rates being lower for certain online outlets than others on a loop I am on. My take on it is I just want people to get my books in their hands. If I make less for audiobooks . . . that's OK. I just want them to listen to my novel (Invisible Girl is an audiobook, for instance, as well as trade paper). We're talking small amounts of money, in my opinion, versus readers discovering you. For now, I am OK with whatever avenue they find me. To that end, too, I would rather spend my time going to a speaking engagement, selling 50 books, GIVING away 5 for prizes, and know I have, potentially, 55 new readers, than spending my money on bookmarks and things I know that I throw away or give my kids. I am not in this for ego. I am in this to earn a living and pursue my craft . . . so it's a business decision. I also, so far, haven't gone to a lot of conferences. Childcare, three days away, spending thousands (potentially) getting there (even when I am a speaker, not everything is covered) . . . I am OK, right now, with the path I take.

Bottom line: I try to write the best books possible.

Thoughts?