Gifting Tales

Totally honest . . . I MUCH prefer giving than receiving. And I am not just saying that because it's the Christmas thing to say. Oldest Daughter thinks I am a NUT for how excited I am for Christmas--and none of it has to do with anything I might receive.

I love finding "the perfect gift." If someone mentions, offhandedly, liking a certain movie . . . that DVD will end up under their tree . . . and I love that look,"How did you know I liked this?" Love it! "Oh, remember once a year ago you mentioned . . . .?"

It's sort of like a totally cool treasure hunt game.

Oldest Daughter gives me long, very expensive lists. But I like putting things under the tree that she's not expecting, too. And I know Demon Baby will be very excited with these.

Looking back at gifts I've received, I have to say my former mother-in-law, now deceased, truly embodied the Christmas spirit. Unbelievably so. And I think it was her tremendous spirit of acceptance. I never felt as if she would have liked to change me in any way. She found out the things I collected--I love snowglobes and Buddha statues now. But at the time, I think I collected teddy bears (no longer). In any case, she would buy things that I liked--not the things she thought I SHOULD like. Her husband also . . . he knew how much I loved this movie and found me a movie still from it. It hangs just to my right where I see it often, and think how special people are who really "get" the spirit of Christmas and what it means. It's not the most expensive thing under the tree, but the thing that stirs a person's heart, that makes them feel special.

My current mother-in-law was the queen of passive-aggressive gift giving. Case in point, I dress in all-black. It makes my life simpler as I don't have to think about matching colors. Lately, I've added red sweaters in honor of Christmas, or white blouses for simplicity, but I'm pretty easy to buy for. One Christmas, I got something that looked exactly like this turquoise track suit . . . only with gold-painted fish and rhinestones on it. Like something a Boca Raton great-grandma would buy at the flea market. Trust me in that I received the message loud and clear--no one else got gifts so ill-suited to them. It takes a special person to want to send a message of "I really don't like you" on Christmas day. But there are people out there who don't get it.

Luckily, her son did not inherit this passive-aggressive streak of gift-giving. He is the king of extravagent and thoughtful gifts. Last year, I got this. At the time, I didn't think I wanted one. Now? Can't live without it. I also got an altar for my Buddhas and meditating (even if Demon Baby interferes with any real meditating I might do--I remind myself to at least bring it back to the breath). I've gotten diamond heart necklaces, and beautiful jewelry, and when a dear friend recounted the dust buster she got, I was grateful I have someone who gives gifts the way I do. Last year, I even got the Rolls Royce of rice steamers. While this may not SEEM romantic, you have to understand that I cannot cook. Refuse to. Hate to. HATE to. This week, I burned chicken nuggets for my poor kids. Just hate cooking. And rice was just "beyond me." If it can't be slapped on a baking sheet and cooked at 400 degrees, it just isn't happening. But this rice steamer? You put in two cups of rice, four cups of water. You don't even have to stir. You press white rice or brown rice, close it, lock it. It beeps when it's done. What better gift for a macrobiotic diet person who hates to cook?

But the best gifts of all . . . those are the homemade ones from my kids. The cards left on my desk. The book I got last year from my Oldest Daughter, who doesn't understand my interest in Buddhism but bought me a book anyway. I treasure it.

So may Santa bring you everything you want under your tree. Gifts of meaning. Gifts of kindness. And do tell . . . what are some of your favorite gifts given or received?