What I Know
This is what I know.
I know that if you leave Baby Girl's birthday cake on the kitchen table, and turn your back to look for candles, Demon Baby will put BOTH hands into the cake, pull them up with roses and icing all over them, wiggle his fingers, look at you and grin, "LOOK! Mommy! I'm doing a puppet show."
That is what I know. I know that later, he will spit icing onto the table, and see, "LOOK! Mommy! I'm fingerpainting."
And I know that at the end of the day, exhausted, I will be grateful that I am old enough and frankly too damn tired enough so that I will find these antics strangely endearing. I am going to that child's Dark Side as sure as I am sitting here typing. This is what happens when you have a baby after 40.
I know that children come from heaven, and babies smell like heaven. I know Demon Baby's skin is softer than a rose petal. I know that, like last night, lying in my big bed with contented birthday party Baby Girl and watching "Meet Me in St. Louis," that when Judy Garland sings "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," that though I have seen the movie a hundred times, I will sob my eyes out. That somehow Baby Girl will never stay awake for that scene, and so I will look at her sleeping in the soft glow of the TV light and sob harder.
But there's a LOT I don't know. And so a quote from wise Buddha that applies to writing.
Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
~Buddha
Buddhism is an experiential faith. Writing is an experiential avocation and career. I don't know anything. I have hundreds (!) of posts on this blog, and at the end of the day, I don't know anything that I can tell you. I can't tell you how to write. I might be able to tell you here to put a comma, or the difference between and en dash and an em dash (and by the way, if anyone ever wants to know some pain-in-the-ass little editing question, write me and I'll answer it on the blog), but I can't tell you how to write. As to the "rumored by many" bit, a lot of writers will tell you what you can or can't sell. But you know what? No one KNOWS for sure.
So . . . I don't know anything, and it has been a pleasure not knowing anything with all of you.
So what do YOU know? And what DON'T you?
Peace,
E
I know that if you leave Baby Girl's birthday cake on the kitchen table, and turn your back to look for candles, Demon Baby will put BOTH hands into the cake, pull them up with roses and icing all over them, wiggle his fingers, look at you and grin, "LOOK! Mommy! I'm doing a puppet show."
That is what I know. I know that later, he will spit icing onto the table, and see, "LOOK! Mommy! I'm fingerpainting."
And I know that at the end of the day, exhausted, I will be grateful that I am old enough and frankly too damn tired enough so that I will find these antics strangely endearing. I am going to that child's Dark Side as sure as I am sitting here typing. This is what happens when you have a baby after 40.
I know that children come from heaven, and babies smell like heaven. I know Demon Baby's skin is softer than a rose petal. I know that, like last night, lying in my big bed with contented birthday party Baby Girl and watching "Meet Me in St. Louis," that when Judy Garland sings "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," that though I have seen the movie a hundred times, I will sob my eyes out. That somehow Baby Girl will never stay awake for that scene, and so I will look at her sleeping in the soft glow of the TV light and sob harder.
But there's a LOT I don't know. And so a quote from wise Buddha that applies to writing.
Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
~Buddha
Buddhism is an experiential faith. Writing is an experiential avocation and career. I don't know anything. I have hundreds (!) of posts on this blog, and at the end of the day, I don't know anything that I can tell you. I can't tell you how to write. I might be able to tell you here to put a comma, or the difference between and en dash and an em dash (and by the way, if anyone ever wants to know some pain-in-the-ass little editing question, write me and I'll answer it on the blog), but I can't tell you how to write. As to the "rumored by many" bit, a lot of writers will tell you what you can or can't sell. But you know what? No one KNOWS for sure.
So . . . I don't know anything, and it has been a pleasure not knowing anything with all of you.
So what do YOU know? And what DON'T you?
Peace,
E
Labels: Buddhism and writing
posted by Erica Orloff at 6:28 AM
37 Comments:
Hi Erica,
What do I know for sure?
An eternal question.
I have suspicions, rather than beliefs.
You have inspired me to post something later today. I wasn't planning on posting because it's a very busy day.
You always cause me to examine the contents of my mind, for which I thank you.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
Answer: Compromise.
Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!
Even reading Judy Garland and "Have Yourself a Merry little Christmas" I could hear her voice and got that heavy sensation in my chest. Love it.
Love the quote, too. Like inherwritemind1 said, you do always inspire me to examine things. Probably testament to my overall confusion, but I could very well become the first person ever to be converted--by a blog.
Off to dig out my grammar book. Yikes! I like my em dashes but I dunno what an en dash is. :0
Hi Tena:
Around here, we say Welcome to the Couch. ;-)
E
Jude:
Buddhism is call the Middle Path.
E
Lainey:
LOL. Well, an en dash usually shows ranges, like numbers. And an em sets off ideas or shows interruption in dialogue.
:-)
E
It's a scary word, though, isn't it?
Because nearly everyone has strong convictions on certain issues, positions from which they're unwilling to bend.
Here's what I know: If everyone would agree to compromise, we would achieve world peace.
Here's what else I know: It'll never happen.
Jude:
I don't think it's scary. It depends on what the issue is.
If it's life or death, if it's certain things that result in harm to others, then no, I can't compromise. That's just too general a summation. You can't compromise with Hitler. With racists. With hatred. Doesn't mean you also can't fight it peacefully, as Ghandi did.
E
I know I can't cook batches of yummy cookies without trying one. I also know I can't stop at one.
Oh! And I know I might be able to go back to taekwondo in a month or so! Maybe, I hope!
I don't know much else. The only time I draw conclusions is when I'm trying to figure something out, LOL. And that's usually when I know the least!
spy:
How great that you may be able to go back to martial arts!!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
E
I'm with Spy on the cookies. I know that eating too much sugar saps my energy. Yet I eat it anyway. I know I'm getting more disillusioned with politics in the United States.
Erica, have you thought of writing a story about a mother with a demon baby? I'd love to read that.
The insane aside, then.
See. I know how to compromise. :)
I suppose one could argue that insanity is subjective, though, so here we go again...
That's my point, really. The Buddha quote doesn't work for me, because we'll never get everyone to agree about what is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all.
One man's Utopia is another man's Hell.
Conflict is at the heart of the human condition. Life is one big tennis match. For every winner, there's a loser.
And that SOB wants revenge.
Hi Edie:
Actually, I have. We'll see . . . I may start a Demon Baby blog one of these days just to document the insnaity of my life with him. :-)
E
Jude:
Well . . . you clearly go through your life in a more competitive fashion than I do, or than most Buddhists do. Clearly, if there are 350 million Buddhists, and no wars have been started in the name of Buddhism, then it's not part of the human condition. Perhaps it's part of the Western human condition. Or your human condition. Or maybe Buddhists subjugate that instinct in the name of peace and compassion . . . my point with the quote was more that writing is experiential, and that you cannot trust any writing teachers. You must discern your writing path yourself.
The only thing I know for certain is that I'm here for a reason. I know because I chose the reason.
I'm pretty sure of some other things. I'm pretty sure the world would be much more peaceful if all religious tomes were replaced by the Golden Rule.
I'm pretty sure the world would be much more peaceful if all national leaders were women.
I'm pretty sure that when I visit your blog I'm going to say only a fraction of what I have to say.
(By the way, I read somewhere that Buddhism has more followers now in the U.S. than anywhere else, even in its countries of origin.)
Stephen:
"I'm pretty sure that when I visit your blog I'm going to say only a fraction of what I have to say."
Don't shut up on my account. I always find what you have to say pretty fascinating. :-)
And I never shut up on your blog.
;-)
E
I know that if you keep putting one foot in front of another, eventually you get someplace other than where you started.
I know that by the line in "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" (any version) that goes "faithful friends who are dear to us," I've usually cried a half-cup of tears.
I know that adding a little cinnamon to chocolate chip cookies makes them tastier, unless you don't like cinnamon.
I know that every day, even the bad ones, I feel lucky. To be alive, to be loved, to have survived.
Pretty much everything else is up for grabs, especially my writing.
I also know that I love reading your blog, which I think of more like a daily column (byproduct of former reporteritis). :)
Erica, I know for sure that life is precious, choices are personal, there is no right and wrong when discussing politics or beliefs. When people realize that, we might have a better chance of uniting. And I thank you also for this special place to ponder things like this. Oh, I love delving into various spiritual beliefs and gathering jewels that resound with me. And that's a beautiful thing.
http://www.ladonnapaulette.com
j.k.:
Glad you like the daily column. ;-)
And something about the song . . just gets you right there, you know.
E
Ladonna:
I like collecting those jewels too.
E
I'm pretty sure the world would be much more peaceful if all national leaders were women.
Thinks of some of the women she knows...maybe if tehre were more women and less men but I'm not so sure women could/would do a better job.......but that's a debate for another day =)
I know that if I can laugh about something, no matter how bad, I can usually deal with it.
amie:
I have laughed out loud in the middle of funerals . . . and then sobbed the next . . . seems laughter sometimes gets us through even the worst of times.
Perhaps it's part of the Western human condition.
People of every culture have been at each other's throats since day one.
Or your human condition.
Okay. I admit it. I'm human.
Or maybe Buddhists subjugate that instinct in the name of peace and compassion . . .
I'll buy that. But subjugation isn't the same thing as eradication.
Conflict and competition are at the essence of existence. Our friend Mr. Darwin proved that a long time ago.
Bringing this back around to writing, isn't it conflict that drives every good story?
My point with the quote was more that writing is experiential, and that you cannot trust any writing teachers. You must discern your writing path yourself.
I agree. But at the end of your post, you asked, "What do YOU know?"
I know human beings will always be in conflict, with each other and with ourselves. That's all I was saying.
Jude:
You wrote that conflict is at the "HEART of the human condition." And then this . . . "people of every culture have been at each other's throats since day one."
All I'm saying is perhaps some of us believe it's not the HEART of the human condition. I choose to believe there's the love of parent to child, there's compassion, there's more. The human condition is a lot of things . . . some say it's our search for soul. If you look at the roots of Buddhism, Buddhists says suffering is unavoidable and the way out of that suffering is the Middle Path. It's a philosophy and a faith that may be foreign to you, but . . . I do think there's value in that worldview. When I said YOUR human condition, i meant no insult, as you seem to have taken it. Yes, you're human, but maybe conflict is how you choose to view much of life and that's part of your condition. I really, honestly, don't see my life like that. It's not that my life has no conflict or pain--I have had more than my share of that in life . . . it's just that I don't view it as integral to my life. If I come to conflict, I look to be a peacemaker.
Your response sounds hostile, so I'll just leave it at that. If that's your worldview, then that's what you know, so I would not want to discount your view of life.
E
E
I didn't mean to sound hostile. Not at all.
I'm just trying to find my way, like everyone else.
I said conflict was AT the heart of the human condition, not THE heart.
As writers and readers, we discover many aspects of the human condition. All I'm saying is that conflict is one of the biggies. Yin and Yang and all that.
It's not what I choose. It just...is what it is.
Unless a person somehow manages to live in a vacuum, or takes vows of poverty and silence, conflict and competition are facts of life.
I didn't invent it. It's not my world view. It's empirical knowledge.
In fact, our little verbal ping pong rather proves my point. :)
Jude:
Then I regret engaging in the discussion.
Peace.
E
Peace.
I know I don't really know anything, and the more I learn the more I find I don't know.
Knowing doesn't really make a difference anyway.
ewoh:
Agreed. :-) It's more fun to learn along the way, anyway.
E
Ack! Well, I'll start by quoting Stephen: "I'm pretty sure that when I visit your blog I'm going to say only a fraction of what I have to say."
um,yeah.
Ewoh said: "I know I don't really know anything, and the more I learn the more I find I don't know."
Ditto.
My dad was always fond of saying he wished he 'knew' as much at 50 as he 'knew' at 25. I thought he was out ta lunch...until I passed 25 and realized how precious little I know!
Jude said: "Conflict is at the heart of the human condition. Life is one big tennis match. For every winner, there's a loser."
A loser, or a worthy opponent, Jude? If you enter the match and give it your best, have you lost? I dunno. Years of co-ed hockey (which I DESPISED) and my dad coached and reffed, left me leaning toward the fact that my best wasn't always the equivalent of THE BEST. Did I lose? I like to think not. I won the knowledge to find things I could be more successful at...okay, so to find the things I could have a better chance of suceeding at.
What do I know? If I keep trying, learning, exploring, I can become the best ME. Might win the match. Might not. But...if given my all, what I KNOW in my heart is MY all, I win.
Luv luv and all that...yeah, I weild a shovel this time of year, not a tenis racket.
(sorry form the much in need of editing post, Erica. Snowed in...what more can I say?)
That's a great way to look at it, Lainey.
You're right. Not winning doesn't necessarily mean losing.
BTW, no snow, but it's FREEZING here in Florida tonight.
So no tennis for me either. :(
Jude it's freezing here in Texas too!! I'd rather snuggle than sweat though =)
Amie:
You have someone to snuggle with? Lucky you! :)
Guess I'll just throw another log on the fire and work on my script.
Jude....just the cats and the quilts! LOL
Amie:
Well, the cover of Hands On looks mighty nice.
Better throw 'em one of those quilts tonight, though. :)
lainey:
You're turning into a Buddhist. Because that sounds an awful lot like . . . the joy is in the journey.
:-)
E
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