Bad Clowns
On the way to the circus yesterday, Baby Girl suddenly confessed a mortal fear of clowns. She might have told me this BEFORE I spent $150 on third-row seats. I spun a tale of the difference between "evil clowns working for the Dark Side" and the "good clowns who only spread cheer." She didn't buy it. Nonetheless, she ended up meeting some very nice clowns--not the evil ones--and had a wonderful time. There is even photographic evidence she laughed at the clowns, and she got to do a tug 'o war with four of them in one of the rings.Which got me thinking . . .
We've had discussions on the blog before about 1) fears, and 2) quirks. When I ask what do you fear most on this blog, I get a lot of very serious answers: death, a child dying, Alzheimer's, fire . . . . illness.
But I realize too, that a lot of us have completely nonsensical fears. I mean, they make sense to US, but . . . to the rest of the world, we perhaps look a little nuts. Which then is more like a quirk. And we've talked before how sometimes writers can go on quirk overload. I've been asked to critique things that get so cluttered with oddity, and my only reaction as editor is WHY? So I think as writers, when we ponder quirks, they should feel less tacked on, more organic. They can still be completely nonsensical. Can still enhance the story. But . . . somehow they are rooted in that sort of nonsensical neurosis, which makes sense in the character's universe. That they are not quirks of the writer's cleverness but of . . . the character's reality.
For example . . . Baby Girl wants a hamster. But she cannot abide gerbils because they have tails. The logic on this one escapes me. But there you go. It HAS a logic. It might not be YOUR logic. But there's an order to it. A rule of quirkiness.
Me? In a strange hotel room when I am on the road, I cannot even contemplate sleeping until I look under the bed, in the closet, and in the shower. Now . . . I am not sure what I would do, should I discover the boogeyman in any of these places, but there you go. I was a chronic "check-under-the-bed" kid. Still am.
Another fear-quirk? Jumping spiders. You see . . . spiders are fine. I actually usually capture them and put them outside. But once, after I got divorced, I went to kill (pre-Buddhism) a spider. And it jumped. High. I was utterly freaked out. And for the first time, I didn't have a man in the house to kill it for me. Frankly, that was about the only good thing about marriage. Having a handy spider-killer. So I did what any self-respecting fraidy-cat would do. I called my best guy friend on the phone and he TALKED ME THROUGH killing the jumping spider. And the entire time, I kept shrieking, "It's trying to kill me. It's jumping because it wants to get up to my neck and kill me." Jumping spiders? Still kind of freak me out. Daddy Longlegs? Not so much.
I always make sure, in my humorous novels, to include these oddities. But I would never just have a character sketch that said, "Afraid of jumping spiders." I might put, "Afraid of jumping spiders. Long story." Or "Afraid of evil clowns. Don't get her started on the topic."
Maybe it's just a difference in my mind. But I really think when you talk about organic writing, it helps to not just "tack on" oddities, but root them in real lives.
So here are mine:
1) WHATEVER is under that bed
2) JUMPING spiders (only . . . regular creepy crawl ones . . . fine)
3) Evil clowns (not the good ones)
4) Rats (but not mice)
5) The serial killer up the street (he may not REALLY be a serial killer, but the guy seriously freaks me out)
6) Close talkers. PLEASE respect my space when you talk to me. Hence number 5.
7) Confined spaces. Even after death. When really . . . will I care? But I think I will. Hence I will be cremated and PLEASE no pine boxes, family. (It's all spelled out in my will, along with my song selections for the party I want you all to have.)
I could go on. And on. I am a neurotic mess. But in my life . . . it's organic.Thoughts? Anyone afraid of evil clowns? Does anyone else think about the difference between neuroses and tacked-on quirks?
Labels: fears, organic writing, quirks
posted by Erica Orloff at 6:47 AM
43 Comments:
From a Jan. 16 news article:
LONDON (Reuters) - Bad news for Coco and Blinko -- children don't like clowns and even older kids are scared of them.
The news that will no doubt have clowns shedding tears was revealed in a poll of youngsters by researchers from the University of Sheffield who were examining how to improve the decor of hospital children's wards.
The study, reported in the Nursing Standard magazine, found all the 250 patients aged between four and 16 they quizzed disliked the use of clowns, with even the older ones finding them scary.
"As adults we make assumptions about what works for children," said Penny Curtis, a senior lecturer in research at the university.
"We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable."
----
I get it.
JVZ
JVZ:
And I will not mention the word . . . {she whispers} "zombie" around you.
;-)
E
I have a fear that once my life is running efficiently, as in I have a clean house and am succeeding in most other areas which matter, that I will die.
Doesn't make any sense, but there you have it. ;-)
Agreed. Tacked on quirks--particularly when there's a new one per chapter--really jump out. And maybe its just the books I'm picking up, but it seems to be a growing trend to abuse quirks. So a character just because a caricature of oddities which may give you a chuckle but ultimately does nothing to endear them to a reader.
Here's mine in no particular order:
-Cannot shower behind a dark curtain, must be opaque, glass doors are preferable
-Little spiders, ok, spiders with bodies like M&M peanut candies *shudder*
-Enclosed spaces & crowded lines
-People who don't make eye contact
-Mice ok,rats NOT
-Clowns ok, mimes kinda freak me out???
-False teeth, must stem from seeing grannie's swim in a glass on my night-stand when I was little. I thought they were going to bite me
Heather:
Ohhhhhh . . . please. I have to fight the whole "other shoe will drop" thing, too. ;-)
E
Hi Lainey:
You said it so much better than I. Cariacature vs. character.
I really dislike when gay characters are just comic relief with zero depth of feeling, for example.
E
Yeah, WWT?
I read a book not long ago that was solid and enjoyable in every way, until she suddenly had a gay friend. 1. I saw no discernible reason for this character to be gay--or even to be in the book. And 2. He pranced, flitted, wanted to decorate her apartment and tell her how to dress.
Bleck and double bleck. Been done to death. Cut it out!
Lainey:
I like to see gay people represented in books . . . but as PEOPLE not just "Jack" from Will & Grace (though he was well-done in his silliness at times).
E
I LOVE Heather's cleean house quirk. What a great excuse not to clean.
I'm afraid of wasps, bees, heights (although I think that's an inner ear thing), and dogs that aren't leashed because they might cross the street and bite my dog, as one did last summer.
Hi Edie:
I used to freak out over bees. Now that I garden, less so.
E
Clowns-they have pale skull like faces with blood and gore etched around the eyes-HOW CAN ANYONE THINK THATS FUNNY???
Bugs-Spiders not so much but anything else-Yikes! I take a glass and catch the bug under it. There it will sit, trapped, until my dh comes home to free it. (no killing allowed-just put it outside)
People with spooky eyes. Sometimes you look at someone and you "know" those eyes are not connected to a soul.
Crowds-guess that is the personal space thing, too.
Thats it. Everything else is a game.
But I can't watch those operation shows on TV. Ewwww. Give me a dead body, no problem, but when they are still alive??? Ewwww.
Weaving this into a story I think has to be done carefully. Sometimes its better to leave them out unless they pertain to the action/story line?
And how much is too much?
Hi Aimless:
I think what it boils down to . . . is genre sometimes. Take the noir detective. Overdone. To death. You're lucky if your agent can get your detective novel READ, let alone sold. The first question is "what's different?" And the answer better not be "the writing." Because it really has to be a memorable character. That entails quirks. Uniqueness. And some writers, to stand out, overload.
Same with romantic comedies. Chick lit was done to death, now it's tough to get it read. The same pendulum will swing in every genre. And then the desperation will hit writers sometimes and they will make this very concerted effort to stand out. If it's organic, great. If it's quirk overload, I just don't "buy" it.
I read this one chick lit book once . . . (unsold). The writer dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's. But it all felt calculated and without heart.
E
The human mouth...I can stick my hands in just about any animal's mouth and examine their teeth and gums with nary a thought. When my kids want to show me something in their mouths...loose tooth, canker sore, whatever, I send them to their mother.
Along the same lines...dentists. Worse than clowns for me. If I were ever captured, the enemy would only need put me in a dentist chair and I'd tell them everything I know and even make up some good stuff.
And Erica dear, I have always had a soft spot for all spiders. I always carefully pick them up and deposit them alive outside. I prefer spiders to using insecticide.
JLK:
I will open wide and show you my lovely crown if ever we meet. LOL!
As for spiders, I was just always squeamish about bugs. Oddly enough, I've fished my whole life and earthworms? No problem. But spiders? Now I like them--same reason.
COCKROACHES on the other hand????????? They absolutely freak me out. And it didn't help I once lived in a hellhole in Jersey City near the projects . . . with a rampant cockroach issue.
E
SNAKES! Seriously, they can stop me cold, freeze me, give me nightmares, and I have no clue why. I don't even like wiggly worms. When we fish, I have to use minnows, or else hubby baits the hook for me.
ladonna:
Oldest Son has a python. Her name is Lydia. Her entrance into my home was the result of him asking. Begging. For a snake. And the fact that . . . he is the child who NEVER, ever, asks for anything. He is not materialistic. He has a lot of video games, but he is willing to work hard and do lots of chores and save his birthday money for them. He is easygoing. Kind-hearted, will help me do any chore, any task, any babysitting. Never gripes or complains. Ever. So he asked and asked. And Lydia came home. She was the size of a pencil.
Now she is as big as my arm. And I HATE her. With a passion. When he brings her out, I hide in the other room. When my family tries to coax me to pet her, I assume she is going to try to swallow me.
But she lives in his room. And I try to make peace with the situation. However, the DAY he leaves for college, Lydia is leaving with him. And I have informed all . . . that if my Significant Other drops dead anytime soon (he feeds Lydia), Lydia is moving out that day. Or she will be buried with him. Either way, I AM NOT buying her rats to eat.
E
My father-in-law hates snakes...and simultaneously complains about the wood rats and chipmunks. He will kill any snake on sight, regardless of type, then wonder why the wood rats and chipmunks run rampant.
Once he was about to kill a rare Indigo snake, it's on the protected species list, when I stopped him. Of course his logic was that it might bite him...let us ignore the fact that it was at the edge of the woods, fifty feet from the house in the brush piles and probably in pursuit of a wood rat or chipmunk.
Erica, I'm kind to snakes too...even poisonous ones. Clowns, mimes, and some lawyers I might shoot on sight, but snakes I like.
jlk:
I will avoid the mime makeup around you. ;-)
E
I recently read a book where the protagonist had all these quirks that didn't make sense. The hero fell in love with her for them. In fact, just a few pages after they met, he was rolling his eyes on behalf of her and explaining to everyone that she's just quirky and that's what he likes about her. Didn't fly for me.
Oh, and you're in big trouble, missy. A month or two ago you recommended Jane Eyre. I Netflixed it, and only the first video came. I started it last evening, and once I got past the first fifteen or twenty minutes (which were fairly dull and a big hokey) I was hooked. Now I'm dying for the next video in this rather obsessed way, and it's all your fault. Hope you're happy with yourself. ;-)
What, you don't think I should write a mystery novel about an African-American, lesbian, quadriplegic lawyer who drinks Mimosas for breakfast and stingers at lunch while listening to her extensive collection of Indigo Girls CDs?
We were watching the Discovery Channel's "Dirty Jobs" this weekend and they did one on the people who take care of the Mackinaw Bridge (which I have traveled over many, many times, so I am thankful for their attentive care). At one point they walked up the suspension cables to the top to change light bulbs. Although it would scare the hell out of me to do it, I would be able to do it.
Now, support pillars are hollow and chambered, and some guy's job is to paint the scrape and repaint the floors and lower walls of each chambers every year. In order to move around in these, he has to go up and down these chambers through little manholes and ladders and the host, Mike Rowe, who's a big guy, but not THAT big, got stuck at least once, and I looked at my wife and just shook my head. "No f***ing way. I'd have to just say 'no' on that one. I couldn't do it."
I remember as a kid going into the Crystal Onyx Caves and at one point there's a spiral ladder and the cave walls are RIGHT THERE, brushing your shoulders and I was EXTREMELY tense.
Oh yeah, I don't like clowns either.
booklady:
Oh, the payoff on that DVD is well worth it!
E
Mark:
I think we'll take a pass on that book. LOL!
And you had me freaking out with your description of that job. NO THANKS! I had enough problems with my MRI two years ago!
E
I can't stand when people talk while they eat, or make any eating or swallowing noises. Shut up.
As for pinning quirks onto characters, unfortunately a lot of formulas for writing fiction advise doing so (in so many words).
Hi.
Couple of my own are open plan stairs (I'm worried someone will look up my skirt even if I'm not wearing one!) and a certain type of spider. Anything under a centimetre can stay, everything else must leave. Also the ones with the spindly legs are evil.
One of my MCs has a gay friend but it just turned out that way. I didn't plan it. One minute I'm introducing the friend and the next he's gay and they are old friends. *Shrugs* I'm only the writer.
I miss Bozo and the grand prize game.
At the moment, I have have the awful fear that if I start to work on my unfinished paranormal manuscript again something (most likely terrible) will happen.
I know it's irrational, but consider the following. During the past 14 months, my working on it has been interrupted by:
- My mom's sudden transition to a nursing home
- Moving
- My mother-in-law getting seriously, in-the-hospital ill (this has happened several times, months apart, just when the book's gotten going)
- My father dying
- A good friend (never unstable before) having a mental breakdown, necessitating a week full of middle of the night chats on suicide watch
- My cat dying
The dad dying thing came just days after I returned from the MIL's place and started work again, after having said to my husband "now I can work on the book again."
It really has gotten to the point I fear getting started. Ridiculous, of course. But there.
Puts my fear of rats to shame. :)
Oh, I love evil clowns, zombies, vampires, werewolves...
It's "normal" people that freak me. All that...nice normalness. Norman Bates comes to mind.
I was at Shakespeare in the Park many years ago, and the pre-play entertainment was a guy doing a modern dance routine with a red rubber ball the size of an ottoman. My friend said, "That looks like something you'd do when nobody else is home."
Those are the authentic quirks, I think. The things our characters do when nobody's watching.
stephen:
I think that's my point. Yes, you had better have something that makes your character stand out. But I think just adding on this lengthy list of them, without feeling as if they are part of that character's life, more organically, is where people run into problems.
E
Hi Hope:
I have plenty of gay characters in mine. I just try to make sure they are people, not just a sidekick/one liner . . . which I think got overdone in chick lit.
E
travis:
Bozo is the freakiest of them all. ;-)
E
J.K.:
I am so sorry about your run of horrid circumstances. But don't stop writing . . . . Maybe take solace in the work.
E
Jude:
Oh yeah. Watch out for the normal ones,
E
hahaha Erica, you and I have some odd similarities. I'm the same way about confined spaces and I want to be cremated too for the same reason. I understand intellectually *I* won't really be there, but I can't stand the idea of being underground, even dead.
And jumping spiders I'm with you there. The other ones can go about their business, but really you shouldn't have that many legs AND jump.
I can't swallow a pill. So when it comes time to take medicine I have to either have liquid, a shot, or crush it up. I can tell you the taste difference in several different pills. Tylenol is truly horrifyingly gross. Sudafed is a little less so, but that also could be because there is less of it. Acidophylus has absolutely NO taste, just this very weird consistency, like you know when you're a kid and you blow bubbles with those bubbles in a plastic container thing, and then you eat some of the bubbles? It's just like that.
I also can't look into a bathroom mirror (or any mirror) with a door open behind me. Once at my old house I was looking in the bathroom mirror and I saw the reflection of a hand coming toward me. I thought it was my brother trying to scare me, so I jumped out into the hallway real quick to get him back. But no one was there. So I have a strict no mirror reflections out into hallways policy now.
I have to sleep with the door closed in most places for much the same reason. I just don't want to look and see some weird shadow or something down the hallway.
zoe:
We ARE twins.
Door closed thing. Same.
E
Clowns are totally freaky. I hate anything with a covered face - people in animal costumes or wearing masks.
Kathryn:
Masks are frightening . . . both literally and metaphorically.
E
Thanks. I'm trying. Not feeling sorry for myself, just trying to conquer a truly silly circumstantial fear.
I liked it better when my silliest fear was clowns -- and rats. (Stephen King's IT was the start of clown fear for me. I always liked clowns prior to Pennywise.)
ALL spiders must die.
Snakes, lizards, rats, and mice-cool.
I too must be cremated because I have a fear that I will wake up burried 6 ft under in my coffin (I saw a horror movie when I was a kid where this woman had a disease that made it appear that she died-stopped heart, no breathing-then she would recover and be alive again).*shiver*
Also I don't like caves and could never be in a submarine.
I love to swim but am afraid of drowning when I'm not in the water.
Clowns are ok, mimes are just stupid-I don't like people (especially men) with beady close together eyes and no lips.
Men with really small hands-totally gross.
I sound like a made up overly quirked character, don't I?
awww, we're like neurosis twinkies.
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I've come in late on this so a few of my neurosis are taken.
Yes to Aimless Writer's warriness of crowds. Can't go to the Santa Parade.
And yes to Stephen's despair at people talking with their mouth full. Can't stand it but that's probably conditioning.
As for the death thing, I also want to be cremated because the thought of my rotting body is quite off-putting.
Jealous co-workers freak me out at the moment because I have just had a very unpleasant experience with one - she has been asked to leave, thank goodness.
Over-muscular men with veins popping on top of their straining muscles grosses me out.
That's enough - one could go on and on.
Beth:
Love the "mimes are just stupid." LOL! They don't bother me either.
E
Suzanne:
As mimes are just stupid (see post above) . . . overmuscled men with popping veins? Stupid.
;-)
E
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