The Most Important Thing My Mom Ever Taught Me
Yesterday was Mother's Day, and I spent it with my mom. And in pondering it . . . I wrote her something in her card thanking her for the most important thing she ever taught me. Because ALL the advice my mom ever gave me, over all these years, from birth until now, can be summed up with these ten words:
PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND DEAL WITH IT.
Yup. Frankly, this advice from mom applies to everything in life.
Because in the end, what choice do we have? Suck it up or die whining.
I have converging deadlines.
See mom's advice.
I can't get this scene to work.
See mom's advice.
I got two rejection letters in one day.
See mom's advice.
I have a cold and don't feel good but my editor needs these galleys back.
See mom's advice.
I have a Demon Baby who was up no less than 13 times in the night and I haven't slept more than two hours and it was SUPPOSED to be Mother's Day, but I was up at 5:30 a.m., and was still cooking for Oldest Son's confirmation party at 8:30 p.m.
See mom's advice.
Today, after all that and no sleep again last night, I am really, really, really tired.
You know the drill.
So tell me, is there any bit of advice that seems to apply to all areas of your life? To writing?
Share.
Happy Monday!
PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND DEAL WITH IT.
Yup. Frankly, this advice from mom applies to everything in life.
Because in the end, what choice do we have? Suck it up or die whining.
I have converging deadlines.
See mom's advice.
I can't get this scene to work.
See mom's advice.
I got two rejection letters in one day.
See mom's advice.
I have a cold and don't feel good but my editor needs these galleys back.
See mom's advice.
I have a Demon Baby who was up no less than 13 times in the night and I haven't slept more than two hours and it was SUPPOSED to be Mother's Day, but I was up at 5:30 a.m., and was still cooking for Oldest Son's confirmation party at 8:30 p.m.
See mom's advice.
Today, after all that and no sleep again last night, I am really, really, really tired.
You know the drill.
So tell me, is there any bit of advice that seems to apply to all areas of your life? To writing?
Share.
Happy Monday!
Labels: advice
posted by Erica Orloff at 7:27 AM
23 Comments:
Good advice. Ours is actually from the Nike commercials:
Just do it.
Means the same thing and it's something we say to our kids or if we're having problems with work or whatever. Just do it.
Mark:
I like that one, too. Mine is usually, "It is what it is."
E
I usually think in terms of epitaphs:
"Here lies a victim of converging deadlines."
And I get over it.
Stephen:
:-)
My epitaph will read:
Here Lies the Exhausted Mother of Demon Baby
E
Your epitaph made me laugh. Sorry.
I learned about "big panties" almost a year ago, I think. It's one of my mantras now.
Heather:
From one big-panty girl to another . . . hope you had a nice Mom's day.
xo
E
Your "it is what it is" has crept into my life. And then "Stop caring" and "Let it go."
None of those really apply to writing, though. As hard (and neurotic) as writing is for me, at times, it's always sort of easy to want to do.
spy:
Writing is always something I push at, work at, struggle with . . . it's the passion in my creative world.
E
'Just do it' is a good one.
Just do the footwork, don't worry about the results.
But I think the one I struggle with the most is if I don't take care of me, I will have nothing to give to others. And that includes my characters, my WIP, my family.
Putting my needs first so that I can be emotionally, physically present for others is a hard one. I was raised with the idea that everyone else's needs are more important than mine.
There are always extenuating circumstances.
Hi Sarah:
I am last on my own list, and that was one of my New year's Resolutions. I have periods of time when I do knit and garden and read for pleasure . . . and periods when that seems to get squeezed out.
E
Great advice. Mine that I live by which is so cliche but I truly believe it is "What goes around comes around, tenfold - so beware what you send out into the universe."
Hi ello:
I really believe that, too.
E
Your mom gives good advice, Erica. I like Sarah's too. :)
My son has a saying, "It's all good." In the end, it usually is.
Erica, I love your mom's advice. I say, "It's all good", a lot. Kind of along the lines of, "Don't sweat the small stuff."
There's some jewels here in the comments. Anything that makes that brain connection for us to keep on keepin' on, is well worth remembering IMO! And I really like your, "It is what it is." Priceless!
I like your mom's advice, Erica, I'm also a big believer in Ello's tenfold karmic observation. I think the best one from my mom is this:
"No one wakes up in the morning, thinking, 'I'm gonna be a son of a bitch today'"
It applies to everything.
In writing, if you leave your characters one dimensional and get to lazy to include their motivation and perspective, you've given your reader less reason to care.
In life, you have to understand that your own vantage point is valid, but so is everyone else's... that's not to say people won't be mean nasty or ridiculous, but you're better prepared to deal with them if you've got a little depth and empathy.
The Golden Rule.
edie:
That's my Oldest's motto. That and "Chill."
Marry:
I would say 95% of the time I have that attitude. If someone cuts me off in traffic, or is rude, I try to remember that maybe they have a horrible reason behind their actions--racing to a hospital or whatever. My Baby Girl prays for EVERY ambulance we pass . . . it's the idea that strangers . . . friends . . . we all have these lives of burdens.
E
I use the "is this a problem or an inconvenience" test. I once read about a man named Sigmond Wolman (I hope I got the name right) he was a holocaust survivor. After the war he came to the states and got a job. When he had a whiny coworker complaining about the working conditions Sigmond would ask it it was a problem or an inconvenience. Living in a concentration camp, losing his family and starvation were problems. Everything else in his life was simply an inconvience.
Its all about perspective.
I like Mark's "Just do it" too!
'Life is not a dress rehearsal' has always been a good one.
A belated happy Mother's Day.
Aimless:
I LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks so much for sharing about it.
E
Hi Suzanne:
CONGRATS on your new pub contract!!!!!!!!
E
Thanks Erica but must get that elusive agent so I can take a further step forward.
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