Theoretical Physicists Apply Here
I don't know anyone who dates the "old-fashioned" way. It's all online dating services. I even know two couples who met online at E-Harmony and are now married. One happily. One not. Sounds like the 50-50 odds of marriage.If I ran an E-Harmony add, it would say something like:
Utterly exhausted mother of four seeks theoretical physicist. Bad fashion sense, wild hair . . . fine. Do you like talking about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Big Bang Nucleosynthesis? Then I want to talk to you! Must love children and dogs. Son has a python, but I don't like her, so snake phobias are OK. Must be spiritual, but if you don't believe in the Big Guy, I understand. Most physicists don't. Music lover, please, as my iPod is more important than food. NO SMOKERS. Must be neat . . . but tolerate mess.
The last line of my personal ad is because my house IS messy, but there is NO way I am EVER going to pick up after another man again.
So do you think I would get any responses? Me either.
But here's the thing . . .
While there are exceptions to every rule, don't you just love how in the movies, physicists look like Russell Crowe??? And how in romance books, fabulously wealthy men who would just as soon eat their corporate opponents for breakfast are secretly just pussycats? How male chauvinists are usually just "messin' with ya" and are actually chivalrous, instead of just really being a**holes?
Which is, I suppose, why we call it fiction.
Why am I pondering all this? Well, I am working on a romance with a professor in it, and he is really dysfunctional (agoraphobic). And I am showing all the ways in which this is paralyzing. It's not something "cute" that just the right combination of romance can cure. Like one day, a la Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, he can just venture out and be fixed.
Which is why, I think . . . any romances I write are generally not quite what the genre demands. Which can be a good thing. Or a bad thing. Depending, entirely, on the reader.
Thoughts?
Labels: romance
posted by Erica Orloff at 6:46 AM
27 Comments:
Since my brother and his wife are both college professors, I'm inclined to think that college professors are typically like everyone else, just better educated. Which is to say, just as screwed up, narcissistic and obsessive-compulsive as everyone else on the planet. Sometimes college profs seem more isolated than the rest of the planet, because, after all, they spend their working lives influencing 18-22 year olds, which might tend to give them the idea their opinions have more weight than they actually do.
But I've often wondered why in fiction everybody's so "hot." My brother commented once after reading one of my books that all the women were attractive or beautiful. He's probably right. Even in books I guess we're influenced by TV and movies where there are no plain or ugly people.
Hi Mark:
I agree. I think in books, though, sometimes the most dysfunctional elements are spun into a charm in a way that . . . it really wouldn't be charming in real life. Just either unhealthy or exasperating.
As for everying being "hot"--what? Everyone is your life isn't unbelievably gorgeous??? LOL!
E
P.S. Actually . . . if you think about it . . . Terms of Endearment--as a BOOK--spun on the idea that the daughter was overweight and plain and unattractive. It was central to the book. The movie gave us Debra Winger, who may not be conventionally stunning, but is beautiful and charming and cute and adorable. It was still a movie I liked . . . but it totally changed the tenor of it.
I think the classic example is probably, I think it was, "Frankie and Johnnie," which originally was about very plain people, and when they make a movie it stars Michelle Pfeiffer and Al Pacino.
As a matter of fact, I think most people are pretty gorgeous (at least until you get to know them). :)
Must be neat . . . but tolerate mess.
LOL! That doesn't sound fair.
I think one of the big mistakes in romance stories, and in real life, is the concept that another person can "fix" you, or make you happy or whatever. I think you're approaching the agoraphobic professor exactly right: He'll have to get his own sh*t together before tackling romance with any degree of success.
Mark:
Oh . . . good example. I mean, she was luminous, and he wa sa sexy fry cook. LOL!
And actually, I find people gorgeous in proportion to how smart they are. Ignorant boorish people are hideous to me, no matter what designer clothes they wear or how devastingly attractive their faces might be. I have met a few physicists who are really, REALLY dorky. But to me, they were very cute. :-)
E
Jude:
Actually, he's the father of the romantic lead, but the son has some oddball quirks that will make the reader wonder if he's inherited some insanity. But yes, I agree.
E
P.S. And no, that doesn't sound terribly fair, but it's my ad. Plus, might as well lay all the cards on the table. ;-)
Must be neat . . . but tolerate mess.
I wish I would have thought about adding those words to my wedding vows. ;)
Hather:
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
E
Erica, probably the "mother of four" will scare them off, and not the meat/mess part. And if it didn't and he met Demon Baby and came back for another date, you'd probably have a winner.
I've noticed that about the stereotypes in movies and books. One reason Boston Legal is one of my favorite TV shows is because the main characters are not young and gorgeous. Most are older and there are some weight issues going on. I'd like to see more of that and to read more like that.
Edie:
LOL . . . I must amend the entire ad.
Must love children . . . and DEMONS.
:-)
E
P.S. Yes, it's refreshing to see people of all shapes/sizes/races in shows. I love the Vicar of Dibley (BBC). She is GORGEOUS--just not American gorgeous.
Cliche though it might be, I believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder. All these Hollywood glam stars and the ones I find attractive are the ones with brains and a sense of humor: Whoopi Goldberg, Queen Latifah. The others open their mouths and the attraction quotient speeds to zero. Or they're anorexic as all hell. Sorry, I like my women with a little meat on their bones.
Give me a real woman with quirks, faults, reality based thinking, a brain, a sense of humor, two feet on the ground with dreams reaching for the sky, and a similar value system.
In all my relationships - and I've had far too many - it's that value system that has become the hit or miss point.
I made a list of the qualities I wanted in an 'ideal' partner, then decided which were negotiable. All of the physical traits were negotiable.
And then I found her. And I've been very happy with her for a little over a year now. We are compatible in a way I never thought possible. And, yes, she's gorgeous. To me, she is the most beautiful woman in the world. My friends think she's cute, too.
Oh, and we did have instant attraction the first time we met. And we write each other love notes every day - e-mail and on the mirror in the bathroom so you can see it when the mirror fogs. All that soppy love stuff that I thought was only in fiction.
Sarah:
I do so hope you show your partner your comment. How utterly wonderful!!!!!!!
E
P.S. I have a friend, early 40's, who is a mechanical engineer and a tri-athlete. Not model gorgeous as he's a little on the short side. Looks a bit like Tesla. Very neat in an almost metrosexual way. Great hygeine and all that. Sense of humor. Allergic to cats. Not sure how he feels about kids.
He's picky about what he's looking for and is having a hard time finding 'her'.
Must Love Demons
--that's got romantic comedy written all over it!
Love your ad, Erica, and mine would have to include mess part too. Why? Cause life is too important to spend all day behind a mop and broom. I like picked-up, but an organized mess visits my place often. And give me real characters too. I love shows that have the whole enchillada, cute but flawed, overweight, young and stumbling, smart but erratic. I want to be engaged in real time.
Sarah:
I always thought Tesla was cute. LOL!
E
Mark:
LOL! My next book. :-)
E
ladonna:
Oh . . . mess is part of my life. My life just SPILLS out over the edges. Both good and bad.
E
So do you think I would get any responses? Me either.
Are you kidding? Do I have to get down on one knee?
Stephen:
I specifically asked for a theoretcial physicist NOT a cartographer. ;-)
I ALSO should have mentioned living on the continental US. Though really, can I be that picky?
;-)
E
A theoretical physicist? Oh, I thought you said theoretically physical. Sorry.
Cartographers are people too!
Stephen:
LOL!
Oh . . . YES, that's what I meant. :-)
E
Now there's romance. A blog proposal on bended knee. *sigh* Stephen & Erica sittin' in a...
Sorry. Giddy. Had pancakes for lunch and I swear I saw a publishing contract in the maple syrup!
As to your personal ad, you could edit the last line to read 'must be compulsively neat and keep my life tidy!'
As to romances with unpredictable elements. Love em! But they are very difficult to find.
Lainey:
I know . . . we could have a blog-o-sphere fake wedding. But my syrup didn't foretell such a monumentous event. ;-)
E
Lainey;
P.S. . . . yes. I love unpredictable. Which is why I very, very rarely go seem romantic comedies.
E
My slightly tongue-in-cheek personal ad from a dozen years ago...
FUN-LOVING wine writer seeks companion. Thirtysomething, serious, but with a sense of humour. Loves kids. Hates baseball. Into tennis, Nordic skiing, cycling and karate. Doesn’t wear gold chains. Reads voraciously. Enjoys movies, dining out, quiet walks.
LOOKING for a relaxed, contemplative female; a woman comfortable with Beaujolais and blue jeans AND Champagne and Chanel. No hang-ups with New World wines. Own cellar definite asset. Should like working out, but preferably not at aerobics, although that point is negotiable. Smokers, wrestling aficionados need not apply. Send photo, phone number, favourite wine label to…
Smart:
And you found a winner, right? :-) I know how happy you are (though don't know if that's how you met her).
E
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