Vapor Trails
Last night I had a bad dream. I'm not sure what it was about exactly. I just slept awfully. I was overtired--Demon Baby and I drove to the airport to get my mom and dad at 9:00 p.m. Oldest Son has had a raging case of strep and lost over a tenth of his body weight since the weekend. I had to clean the house from top to bottom to get ready for the Invasion of the Parental Units. By the time Demon got to bed, it was midnight. I gave up my bedroom for my parents, so I'm bunking with Demon Baby, and he was up--easily--ten times between midnight and dawn. So after a while? I start hallucinating. And somewhere near four a.m., I know I had a nightmare.
I vaguely recall an urban apocalyptic feel to it. I think the Blue Wiggle was in it. (Regular readers know when I start lacking sleep, I develop strange crushes on children's TV stars . . . I went through a Steve/Blues Clues phase . . . and trust me, Steve is not the sharpest knife in the drawer). And I "think" there was an Invasion of the Body Snatchers vibe going on--the Donald Sutherland version.
Anyway, when I woke up, I started trying to remember the dream. I'm not sure why except that there was something about it. So I felt like I was grasping at vapors . . . these leftover remnants of a dream . . . snippets of pictures in my head . . . a feeling . . . a wondering. And it dawned on me . . .
THAT'S what it's like to write a book. At least for me.
Yesterday, as we talked about process . . . I realized I left something out. Or maybe it's best left for today's blog post anyway. And that is what it's like to have a vision in your head and to try to make it finite . . . on a computer screen, on paper. It's sometimes so elusive. You have it there in your head--sort of. But you're chasing these vapor trails.
THAT'S what it's like. For me.
Thoughts?
I vaguely recall an urban apocalyptic feel to it. I think the Blue Wiggle was in it. (Regular readers know when I start lacking sleep, I develop strange crushes on children's TV stars . . . I went through a Steve/Blues Clues phase . . . and trust me, Steve is not the sharpest knife in the drawer). And I "think" there was an Invasion of the Body Snatchers vibe going on--the Donald Sutherland version.
Anyway, when I woke up, I started trying to remember the dream. I'm not sure why except that there was something about it. So I felt like I was grasping at vapors . . . these leftover remnants of a dream . . . snippets of pictures in my head . . . a feeling . . . a wondering. And it dawned on me . . .
THAT'S what it's like to write a book. At least for me.
Yesterday, as we talked about process . . . I realized I left something out. Or maybe it's best left for today's blog post anyway. And that is what it's like to have a vision in your head and to try to make it finite . . . on a computer screen, on paper. It's sometimes so elusive. You have it there in your head--sort of. But you're chasing these vapor trails.
THAT'S what it's like. For me.
Thoughts?
Labels: creative process
posted by Erica Orloff at 8:38 AM
25 Comments:
It's frustrating as hell! I know so much more about the characters and the story than can go on the page--or should go on the page--and in some ways what ends up there seems inadequate.
Writing and reading is a form of telepathy--we want the reader to experience what we experience, but it's impossible. They can't, they just get part of it.
I hear your pain, Mark.
:-)
E
The stories are always there, I think. We don't create anything out of thin air. We're merely trying to remember what happened next. :)
Jude;
Good way to put it.
E
I love that phrase: vapor trails. Evocative on many levels.
I don't chase vapor trails when I'm writing. But I tend to do this with short-term memory. sigh.... I think it's from doing something, then having Thing 1 or Thing 2 call me for something else. It's that constant thought interruption. I think that's how my brain has been rewired by my kids. Have half a thought. Then stop and cook.:-)
YES! Vapor trails defines how I feel about my current wip. I also like Jude's "trying to remember what comes next". With the current wip, I feel like I need to be still to see/hear the story. Like -- if I can just sit still enough, it'll creep up on me.
Yes! That is it exactly.
I'm constantly in search of ways to trap that vapor...
"Vapor trails" is the perfect phrase. It happens to me all the time. I get an idea--and sometimes dialogue and action--but by the time I get to a pen and paper it's gone and I'm left with a phrase like "Judy went to the store."
Other times, though, it pours out. Love it when that happens.
BTW, Erica, I was having trouble with a scene yesterday and your blog yesterday helped me step back and look at the chapter in a "big-picture sense." Before that I was looking at the small picture, the interaction of the two characters, which is why I was stuck. Now I'm getting those pages written and I know where I'm going. Thanks!
Totally! I'm endlessly afraid I won't be able to capture them and put them on paper. And then, I so often get these great scenes, but I forget about them until it's too late!
I hope you get some sleep tonight, Erica!
I dream in color with complete story lines most of the time. OK. Sometimes they make no sense. And sometimes, those dreams go in my file called ideas to become books in the future.
And that's how I 'see' my books. In color, as a movie, with neat special effects. I try and get that on paper so that the reader has some inkling of my movie.
Love the vapor trails expression. It describes it all very well. Trying to remember those fragile dreams that vanish one step ahead of my questing thoughts, and trying to commit my story to paper.
I have a lot of anxiety dreams. I wonder if that's common with writers or just a sign of the times. (Or my own personal psychosis)
You've got your hands full and then some there.
Only you could turn a nightmare about vapor trails into a post about writing.
For me all the magic of writing is contained in the idea that abstract symbols on paper, arranged in a certain order, create vivid images in our minds.
Oh Vapors! I really love that analogy! Sometimes a great thought is in my head and I'm chasing it and chasing it to try and write it down and I can't nail it cause it's like trying to capture a vapor! That is exactly right. AWesome Erica!
Christine:
I have a Thing or two . . . or four of my own. I know what you mean about it fracturing your train of thought.
E
Liz:
What's sitting still? :-)
E
Heather:
Vapor trapping! I love it.
E
edie:
Glad the blog helped in some small way. :-)
E
spy:
I so hope I get sleep tonight. UGH!
E
sarah:
OMG, twins separated by birth, I guess. Most of my dreams are very anxiety-related. I hate it . . . but there's so much stress in my personal life, and much as I try to pray before bed and give it up . . . it haunts me nonetheless, some nights.
E
stephen:
Are you saying only someone as nuts as me? :-)
E
ello:
It's been so fun to see everyone feel it somewhat describes writing. I wrote this blog on no sleep--and nothing was in my brain--I was a brain-dead blob this a.m. But it was how I felt . . . and it's neat to see others feel that way, too.
E
Man, I'm just envious of Demon Baby's energy. :) And so hope you get some sleep tonight, Erica. Love the vapor trail analogy, and it totally nails it. My dreams lately, maybe three nights now, have been a little bizzare. One of them had me on a flat slab of rock, pretty high up. I made it up by climbing, but was afraid to get down. LOL.
I get what you mean about the dreams being vapor trails... but when I'm writing the images and the dialog are crystal clear in my head - almost palpable.
There seems to be something that is blocking the translation from my inner theater to the page. When I can find and remove that I'll be cooking with gas :)
Ladonna:
Must be prophetic! You are going on to higher heights!
E
ewoh:
Given you feel "blocked" somehow, that really surprises me. It's that inner critic, I think (???).
E
It is ever really possible to convey your exact meaning in words? Especially considering everyone interprets your words based on their own reality and experience.
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