Monday, August 18, 2008

How Full Is Your Glass?

I was raised by a glass half-empty father. And a "the glass is what it is" practical mother.

What they ended up with is a "glass more than half-full daughter who veers toward glass is what it is when circumstances suck."

I go through periods when my glass starts feeling utterly drained. Right now, for example. I could give you a laundry list--sister and her children moved, Oldest Daughter leaving, strange bruising on my stomach making me think Crohn's is acting up, too much to do, not enough time, and that dang laundry pile. But in the end, I always feel terribly selfish for ever complaining. I don't feel I was created to complain. I feel I was created as a child of joy. And when the joy is missing, I need to push on through and find it again.

I love the following quote:

The dream is not up there in the sky or the stars. It's right here in your heart.~Dan Zadra

Most writers I know are dreamers. It's how we're hardwired--why else to pursue a career with impossible odds. BUT, within our ranks are the half-full folks and the half-empty. Sometimes we're both--just at different times.

And all this got me thinking about yesterday's post on horror books. I wonder if our WORLDVIEW, our glass, determines what we like to write in some ways. Think the world is an inherently hopeless place, and you have Cormac McCarthy. Think the world a place of optimism, and you have my November release, Freudian Slip, in which hope trumps all.

So how full is your glass? And do you think that determines what you gravitate toward writing?

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23 Comments:

Blogger spyscribbler said...

This last year, my glass doesn't know which end is up. This week it's 3/4 full, which is cool.

I like that: a child of joy. I always felt, even when I was little, I was created to experience a ton of gunk so I would learn compassion, and then I'd have a good, easy life starting around halfway through. So: a child of compassion?

BIG luck to Oldest! May she thrive there. And please stay healthy, Erica.

11:23 PM, August 18, 2008  
Blogger Zoe Winters said...

Right this moment my glass is very close to empty. I'm rereading something that has gone through many drafts and it still sucks. I got a personal rejection on it from a known publishing house.

I can't conceive a reality in which an editor writes 8 specific sentences on how to improve what I've got without seeing some promise in it. But I honestly don't know how she got through the damn thing, because it's a flopping lifeless fish.

I don't know that I can make the stories in my head translate onto the page like I want to, and that's got me very frustrated right now.

4:46 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Zoe Winters said...

Sorry, mood swings. Going to try to stop being crazy now.

5:51 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Jude Hardin said...

Some days I'm Eeyore, some days Pooh. Usually somewhere in the middle I guess. I've never been a "shiny, happy" person, but I try to maintain a sense of humor in most situations.

Knowing, of course, that WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!

6:40 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Mark Terry said...

I think who we are absolutely influences what we write.

And I've been struggling with the glass-is-half-empty thing all summer. I think mostly I'm a glass-is-what-it-is guy with conscious efforts to be half-full. It's the half-empty thing I battle and unfortunately it seems to be winning this summer. I was thinking this morning that I HAVE to stay optimistic, that there's some good things in the near future.

8:27 AM, August 19, 2008  
Anonymous Amy Nathan said...

Sometimes, most times, I'm too busy to even contemplate what's in the glass at all. But I do strive to remember how fortunate I am, even amidst life circumstance much less traditionally lucky than anyone usually believes.

I tend to make my writing mirror my life, with characters who have much - but don't always realize it right away, or who make the most of what they have after fighting it.

Just being here, with my kids, writing, living a decent life, makes my glass half full. Anything else, any goodies, any material fun, makes it overflow.

I think what drains our glass is sometimes being caught up in things other than ourselves. Not that we shouldn't be concerned or involved, but if it's in a negative way, it doesn't fill the glass.

The other day I wrote something on my blog about new ideas...and I think new ideas are a way we also fill our glass. It's a reminder of possibilities - or how I have to look at them. Not as something getting in the way, but that which paves the way.

8:29 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

Hi Spy:
Thanks for the good wishes. And a child of compassion is a good one, too.
E

8:31 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

Hi Zoe:
Big hugs on muddling through that . . . sometimes I feel like we "operate" on a book or story so much that we lose the soul. Then we have to find it again. It's a delicate balance.
E

8:31 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

Jude:
LOL!!!
E

8:32 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

Mark:
I have been chasing optimism all summer. It's been a weird one.
E

8:32 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

Hi Amy:
Yes . . . I also think writing, new ideas, all of it, fills the glass and nurtures.

E

8:34 AM, August 19, 2008  
Anonymous LaDonna said...

Erica, I'm a more than half-full gal, always have been. Looking back, the crap has certainly landed on my doorstep a time or two, but I always managed to shovel it off. My family keeps me smiling; the girls, the grandbabies, my hubby, all of them. I'm blessed, and I know it. I just wanna enjoy the ride, before the inevitable ending Jude shared. LOL. Gotta smile at that one.

And thanks, your blogs are amazing and give me terrific insights. It's a little Zen to start my day.

9:57 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

ladonna:
I have PILES of the crap to shovel away of late. BUT, we keep on shoveling! LOL!
E

11:43 AM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Melanie Avila said...

I always look at the bright side. When we were preparing for my husband's immigration meeting last spring we had to put together a "crying wife" letter on my behalf - basically a letter saying why it'd be hard for me to remain outside of the US until 2016.

My lawyer expressed concern that I seemed to be adapting too well to my surroundings and wasn't sure my complaints were convincing. Then she read the letters from my family and friends - every one of them said that they could tell I was doing my best to stay positive but that they could tell it wasn't working. Once she understood that side of me, she wrote a more convincing letter.

As for my writing - I don't like ending where people skip into the sunset hand in hand. I want them to be happy, but they should be crawling into the sunset with a gunshot or something. ;)

12:26 PM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Ewoh Nairb said...

Great topic Erica. I've never really been a happy-go-lucky person. That puts me in the glass-half-empty slot for sure. However, at a young age I somehow determined that it was my fault that the glass was not full and I have been making myself into a bad person for that for my whole life.

Ahhh the insanity of it all.

The training I have been taking has allowed me to see the insanity for what it is, and let it go. I see the glass. I see the water. I choose what I want to choose and move forward from there. A glass with water signifies nothing unless we give it a significance.

I think I am becoming more zen...

12:44 PM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Kath Calarco said...

Hate to admit that my moods strongly influence my writing. At times it stops the beast all together. (I could have been yesterday's blog.)

I do know this, when in a good state of biorhythms, my writing is top shelf.

8:00 PM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

melanie:
GOOD LUCK!!! I like to belive love conquers all.
E

10:18 PM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

ewoh:
I love your zen comments!!!
E

10:19 PM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

kath:
As a f/t writer, I have to work through the crappy days, but SOMETIMES the effort is very intense . . . just need to slog through it. Mood influences much, but I try to avoid letting it.
E

10:19 PM, August 19, 2008  
Blogger Stephen Parrish said...

My name is Steve, and my glass is half empty.

1:44 AM, August 20, 2008  
Blogger Zoe Winters said...

What may be necessary is to rewrite a few sections entirely. You can only chip away at something so much before it looks like that's what you did, lol. I need to make it flow seamlessly and I know that's just something that comes with time and practice and a commitment to making it happen.

5:10 AM, August 20, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

stephen:
Welcome to Half-Empty Anonymous.
E

9:02 AM, August 20, 2008  
Blogger Erica Orloff said...

Hi Zoe:
Good luck with it--yes, I have often found that abandoning what I tried to save and rebuilding from scratch works.
E

9:03 AM, August 20, 2008  

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