That Other Thing
Okay, so the other day, before I got all ga-ga over fulfilling my dream to see David Sedaris live, we discussed that whole ass-in-chair thing. It just has to happen if you want to write fiction. Too many people "aspire" to write a novel. Far fewer ever type "the end."
But there's that other thing. Faith, belief, dreaming, whatever you want to call it. Delusion? Because ass-in-chair is something you do. You either sit your ass in the chair . . . or you don't. It's a bit like exercising. You either put your sneakers on and go for a walk or go to the gym. Or you don't. But dreaming, faith, belief . . . far tougher. Take it from the daughter of an atheist. I know my dad would LIKE to have faith. It makes it a little easier to get through the rough patches in life. I have told him about Buddhism, Jesus, God, unitarianism, logotherapy--the whole roulette wheel of faith. So far, nothing's "stuck." Faith is one of those elements that you have it or you don't . . . and unlike exercise, while you CAN exercise your faith, you can't DECIDE to have faith. It just doesn't work that way.
Yet again, I was intrigued by a commenter on Konrath's blog. Actually, it's an interaction between two commenters. Go to comments 17 and 18. Where do you cross the line from faith to delusion? It's a valid question. How can you stubbornly hold onto faith when all signs point against it? WHO are you seeking confirmation of your faith from? How do you know yours is the dream meant to keep alive while that guy next to you is churning out dreck.
Nathan Bransford asked something along those lines here. So . . . big topic today. What are your thoughts on keeping the faith, letting go, why you write, blah, blah, blah.
But there's that other thing. Faith, belief, dreaming, whatever you want to call it. Delusion? Because ass-in-chair is something you do. You either sit your ass in the chair . . . or you don't. It's a bit like exercising. You either put your sneakers on and go for a walk or go to the gym. Or you don't. But dreaming, faith, belief . . . far tougher. Take it from the daughter of an atheist. I know my dad would LIKE to have faith. It makes it a little easier to get through the rough patches in life. I have told him about Buddhism, Jesus, God, unitarianism, logotherapy--the whole roulette wheel of faith. So far, nothing's "stuck." Faith is one of those elements that you have it or you don't . . . and unlike exercise, while you CAN exercise your faith, you can't DECIDE to have faith. It just doesn't work that way.
Yet again, I was intrigued by a commenter on Konrath's blog. Actually, it's an interaction between two commenters. Go to comments 17 and 18. Where do you cross the line from faith to delusion? It's a valid question. How can you stubbornly hold onto faith when all signs point against it? WHO are you seeking confirmation of your faith from? How do you know yours is the dream meant to keep alive while that guy next to you is churning out dreck.
Nathan Bransford asked something along those lines here. So . . . big topic today. What are your thoughts on keeping the faith, letting go, why you write, blah, blah, blah.
Labels: faith
posted by Erica Orloff at 8:48 AM
30 Comments:
People never want to talk about this subject really. What would happen if you NEVER publish? It's a very hard reality that may happen. There is no gurantee that once you've published that you'll publish again.
But if nothing else a writer has faith, but they also have to have persistence.
Now where does faith come from? I don't know. I do believe you have to be open for it to take root. Faith is much like hope. At times having it can crush you or uplift it.
But again, you have to be open to it.
Sidenote: Jennifer Jackson asked a similiar question, but I think it was the right one--not why do you write, but why do you continue to set your sights on publishing when the odds are against you?
I faced this rather regularly before I got my novels published and before I turned to writing full-time. For me, anyway, there was this fear: if you quit, you'll always wonder if the NEXT one would be the one.
At the same time, I sometimes had long talks with myself about the very real possibility that I would go on and on and just never get published.
And although I'm reasonably comfortable thinking I'll continue to make a living as a writer until I'm able or need to retire, I still have a lot of doubts whether I will get fiction published again. And I do find as I get older--I'm not so old, 44, but still...--that I have to wonder if there aren't other things in life equally satisfying that won't be so frustrating.
I don't think there's any shame in that. And I do remember pissing-&-moaning about not being published 10 years ago to a 22-year-old single mother I was working with and she looked at me and said, "Do you enjoy doing it?"
"Yes."
"Then what's the problem?"
Wise beyond her years, that one.
Melissa:
I have stated before that I think if I won the lottery, I probably would never write another word for publication. I would blog--I would porbably invest more of my time into my Demon Baby blog or a mommy blog of some sort, or maybe start one about whatever adventure would begin when I won the lottery (I am pretty confident that if I won the lottery, I would immediately buy a farm and adopt a dozen kids). The writing is what I do, it's who I am. But writing for publication is how I make my living.
I do love hearing from readers. I was rather in awe at the Sedaris reading (though he is as much a performer) . . . 3,000+ people adoring his writing/reading. But I don't know that it's fully tied, for me, into being published. That's part of it. But the internal version of writing (such as a blog or journal) is pretty satisfying for me.
E
Mark:
I've seen you blog around this topic before. I started a new wip last night--a YA. VERY different from anything I have ever done before. I am five pages into it. My group like it and said keep going . . . I have NO IDEA where it's going, only that I am intrigued by it and having fun. And I am always aware that I am pretty "cool" with the fact that it may NEVER evolve into something publishable, that maybe it WILL . . . but that if it doesn't I am OK with that because there are always more ideas and right now, I love it.
E
I have an idea, just a title really, that stems from some of the clowning around I've done here, and I've decided to use it for NaNoWriMo this year. I'm going to give myself permission to write tripe for thirty days. 50K words, just for fun.
Sounds craptastic, doesn't it?
Keepin' the faith here, babe.
I have to go with what Mark's single mother friend said to him. With all its frustrations, I enjoy writing. It satisfies something within me.
I quit once, and found other creative things I enjoyed doing. But nothing was as satisfying as writing fiction. So I came back, and this time I'm not leaving.
Jude:
Good luck with your craptastic dreams.
E
edie:
Well . . . we won't let you leave. And the Single Title competition . . . you're in the game!
E
I've never known what it's like to write for "publication".
I wrote an autobiography a year or so ago, with no real intentions on trying to get any recognition, but whenever I shared it with people they encouraged me to do so. So I toy with the idea, but am very much ignorant to the world of "publication". It scares the dog shit outta me, truth be told. Intimidates me to no end. I type all my shit out on Wordpad fer Christ's sake. I suck and I know it.
But I blog like I won the lottery and don't ever have to write for "publication" ever again, whatever that means to you, and I think it quite possibly means the same thing that it means to me....-FREEEEEEDOM-!!!!.
Sometimes I feel like people think I suck and other days I'm on top of the frakkin world.
Faith wavers like that. But it's what makes life worth living.
I love how often you write in your "blob". And your topics. They challenge me and give me a lot to think about.
Hi Realmcovet:
Sometimes, I think, many a writer starts with memoir. Then they start mining the life in the memoir for fictional pieces. You never know.
But yes, a blog, for me, is freedom,
E
I question myself as well, and my faith in plodding forward with no assurances. It goes back to what adds value to my life...and the belief that there is a chance of publication makes me happy, not anxious or sad. There is a possibility I'll author a book that people can buy -- it might be unlikely -- but it's still something to strive for.
Striving and dreaming adds value to my life...being hopeful makes me happy.
And you know, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
Amy:
If we had no dreams, wouldn't we be robots? All lives MUSt have dreams, I am convinced. When dreams die, the soul follows.
E
My grandmother wrote and never was published. We have a glimpse into who she was.
Faith? Or stubbornness.
What's running through my mind right now is a scene from the movie "An Officer and a Gentleman." Louis Gossett Jr. is urging Richard Gere to DOR---drop on request. Richard Gere breaks down and says, "I got nowhere else to go."
I got nowhere else to go.
Anyone within the sound of my voice who does have somewhere else to go might probably ought to go there.
If faith is choosing, despite circumstances, logic or anything else other than just choosing freely, then I could say I have faith.
I choose writing because I choose writing. Not for any other reason.
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Faith is heart. Writing backs it up.
Commenter Leonard said: There's no shame in recognizing that some of life's dreams will never be fulfilled.
I'm still at the dreaming stage. There's always arsenic for later.
Hey, E! I write for me, and that makes me happy. I smiled when you said if you won the lottery, you'd never write for publication. That's not a bad place to be imo. There's nothing like writing for the pure enjoyment of it. If ya get paid for it, even better as long as it doesn't rob the joy.
And faith to me is the soul-kind. I carry a little of this, and little of that, and mucho discoveries of my own.
richmond:
And what a wonderful gift!
E
stephen:
Your comment was just awesome--really touched me.
E
ewoh:
Nice to "see" you. Hope all is well and that you are writing,
E
kath:
That's one to post by the computer.
E
Tena:
I agree that there's no shame in deciding to go in another direction, but I think if you have the passion, you keep slogging.
E
ladonna:
I have Heinz 57 faith myself.
E
I agree that there's no shame in deciding to go in another direction, but I think if you have the passion, you keep slogging.
Slogging, I am. Passion, I have. At this stage of my life going in another direction is pretty much impossible unless it's backward.
hmmm I'm just writing and putting it out there and doing what I can. I know some will love it, some will hate it, but I dont' know the numbers. I don't know how or if that will translate to money. I don't put a lot of stock in any of that, I'm just doing my thing.
So I'm not sure I totally relate on the faith issue as it relates to writing. I do have confidence in myself, but I think that's a little different than faith. And maybe it's just nuance, or just in my head that it's different.
I do very much admire though, the fact that you understand someone can't DECIDE to have faith, in the truest sense of that word. My husband is an atheist, though he theoretically accepts there could be afterlife or reincarnation, he just doesn't believe in the big guy in the sky. And his atheism absolutely wasn't a choice. It was despite wanting to believe in God.
tena:
I still cling to what Stephen says. He's pretty spot on, our guy is.
E
zoe:
When I was 13, I found out my father was an atheist. I even remember where I was sitting and what we were talking about. It shook me, because my grandparents took me to church (my parents NEVER did) and it never dawned on me, despite my parents, that there were people who didn't believe at all. God was Santa Claus. You said your prayers, and if you were lucky, he heard them and you got your wish. I thought the reason we didn't go to church were my parents partied a lot (!) and liked to sleep in on Sundays. :-)
For 30 years, my father and I have been engaging in discussion on the topic. I know it isn't a choice for him and I totally GET where he is coming from. My own faith is cobbled together from here or there, but it's something I feel as a core part of who I am. I go with the Dalai Lama. My religion is kindness. :-)
E
hehe yeah, my beliefs are very much not a specific religion, but more a mishmash of ideas about what I think might be true, and what speaks to me.
One of my best friends is an atheist...she was my first atheist hahaha!
And I remember now How SHOCKED I was. I was a fundamentalist christian at the time, and our friendship sprouted out of this debate and our morbid fascination with each other.
It eventually developed into a friendship with a much stronger foundation and I came away from the dark side haha!
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