Intuition

There's an expression: women's intuition. And I suppose a lot of people consider intuition a feminine trait. I've wondered why and decided it must go back to motherhood. Have you ever watched a mother feed a baby rice cereal for the first time? Mommy opens her mouth wide, as if encouraging the baby to open wide. Whenever I fed Demon Baby, even long after he mastered accepting food from a spoon, Oldest Daughter would say, "You're doing that weird thing with your mouth again."

Babies come into the world without a way to tell us--other than crying--what's wrong. We mothers intuit wet diapers, when they're cold, when they're warm, when they want to be held, when they want to be rocked, when they're hungry, and when they need a nap. I nursed four children a grand total of almost eight years. I nursed "on demand" (for those without babies, that means not on a schedule, but just when the baby wants to nurse). I had to intuit what that meant. I've been a mother for almost eighteen years now and four children. Sometimes I feel as if my entire life has been intuiting what four other people need.

Oldest Son's face looks a little down when I ask how school was. So I probe more. Baby Girl is biting her lip. Must mean she's worried about something. Oldest Daughter looks pale. Is she coming down with something? And Demon? Well, he's in a class all by himself.

But intuition really ISN'T a female trait. Men usually just call it gut instinct.

And I've decided, perhaps, that the reason so many people in my life say, "You're so intuitive" has less to do with being a woman, with being a mom, and more to do with being a writer.

I used to set all this stuff down on paper and worked with my prose. When I was newer at this game of publishing and writing, I hacked at it, I edited it. I tried to cross my t's and dot my i's. But after a while--and I mean years and years of writing--I somehow learned to discern when to leave the prose alone. When it wasn't "quite right" and needed work. I learned when a scene needed cutting, and when a line of dialogue needed a fresh angle.

I can't teach that. Writer's intuition comes the hard way. Just as being a mom is something you earn. Don't get me wrong, any jerk can donate sperm and any woman from puberty on can pop out a baby. But MOM . . . you earn that title. The hard way.

Same with writing. I recently read an online excerpt from a newbie writer. I think it was an e-pub, but no matter, I cringed. I saw problems so glaring I . . . felt pained for this writer. But I realized that's because I've honed this intuition thing. I've honed it from working the craft for years. I've honed it in the best damn critique group you can find. I've honed it because no matter how many books I've published, I'm willing to LISTEN to my critique partners and learn what they can teach me. And then I've honed it because I am not so arrogant to not absorb new lessons.

Gut instinct. Intution. Whatever you call it, I really think gaining it is when you see your writing evolve. Really change to something publishable. I can't teach it. You earn it.

Thoughts?