FIFTEEN MINUES TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chemistry 101

When I was 21, the person whose company I enjoyed most was a man named Kurt (or Curt--I can't remember), quite a bit older than I was. He worked as an exceutive vice president at an investment banking firm in the Twin Towers, was originally from Montcalir, New Jersey, and we were friends. He often took me out to dinner at places that I could never afford on an editor's salary, and we would talk for hours with no lull. Things got tricky around my birthday when Kurt decided he had enough with being "just friends." And the fact is, I was really young and didn't feel any chemistry.

Now that I am older and wiser, I miss him. When the Twin Towers fell, I combed the victims' names . . . and truthfully, I have no idea what happened to him. He stopped being my friend, and I am left with wondering . . .

Here's the other thing, I was REALLY young. And I am telling you that I agnonized over this "chemistry" thing. I didn't understand it. I WANTED to be madly in love with him. I wanted to like him as more than a friend. But I didn't. Oh, there were lots of reasons I suppose. In hindsight, I don't imagine we could ever talk politics. He was from "old money." The only thing old about any money we had was if it stayed in our pockets a while. But chemistry made no sense to me. You couldn't "will" it, could you?

Years passed. The people I had "chemistry" with were almost uniformly not good for me. And now--again older and wiser--I wonder about chemistry and do think it can be nurtured. Either that, or the things that I like in a person are much different--intelligence, decency, a sense of purpose, spirituality, belief in social justice, a sense of humor, can the man make a decent scrambled egg? My chemistry with women friends is similar . . . humor somehow edging out most of the other qualities.

As a writer, every time I put in a relationship (romantic or even close partnership), I'm looking to create "chemistry." For me, I "show" it through dialogue--finishing each other's thoughts, inside jokes (even if the reader doesn't quite get it yet).

So . . . your thoughts on chemistry? Can it be forced? What is on your chemical combustion list? How do you show it in writing? And if Kurt is somehow reading this . . . hi!

Love Without Sex

I am re-reading a crucial scene this morning in Freudian Slip, in which Katie is made love to by Julian . . . or rather, Julian's soul/ghost/disembodied voice. All she can feel is a cool feather-like touch, like a chilly breath of air, where he worships her thighs. They get creative, and they sort of make love. They DO make love, but there's no . . . well, penis.

It is so important to the story to believe that Katie could give up sex with men--flesh and blood men--for Julian. Her Jules. And yet, as I re-read it, I believe it. I totally believe it. But then again . . . I wrote it.

In Spanish Disco, there is a big reveal in the second-to-last chapter. So I don't want to say what it is regarding the love interest. BUT, he and Cassie spend five long years having phone sex and not meeting--she refuses.

So . . . it got me thinking. For a soul mate would you give up sex? For a complete and total connection, would you submit to the agony of not being able to make love? I think I've been able to have it totally believable with Julian and Katie. A perfect love--perfect forever. EXCEPT for that whole pesky issue of sex.

I know there are books, movies, that pose this question. Remember LADYHAWKE? Rutger Hauer (when he was drop-dead gorgeous), Matthew Broderick, Michele Pfeiffer? I admit I am a sucker for that movie. What can I say? The eighties. It explains a lot. But in it, the lovers were kept apart by sunrise and sunset and their animal forms. Yet they never left each other's side, never gave up on the thought of being together.

Any other movies you can think of? And could you make that choice?