Demon in Diapers

There is a myth--especially among women--that you can have "it" all--whatever it is. You can have a career, a perfect house, perfect kids, perfect pets, a perfect marriage . . . and not break a sweat. This myth is perpetuated by women who resemble the Stepford Wives, who never let you peek at their imperfection. Their kids are all "gifted," and their car doesn't look like a candy factory and a cereal truck crashed and imploded on the upholstery with a demon child spraying a giant juice box.


As a writer, I have a great life--I don't punch a clock, and I get to work in my pjs. I get to make stuff up for a living. But in order to do that with four kids, three dogs, and no nanny, I have to give myself permission to have a messy house, imperfect children, and a wardrobe that consists of jeans, a t-shirt, and bare feet. As a writer, I also learned that Newton's Third Law really does exist. With four kids, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Thus:

• If you have just cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floors, the baby will decide to "paint" said floor with a juice box.
• If you have just deposited an advance check in the bank, one of the following will occur: the A/C unit will need to be replaced, the roof will spring a leak, or one of your kids will need a big fat tuition check paid.
• White shirts and mothers do not mix. Enough said.
• When you don't have a deadline, the baby will be sweet and cuddly and undemanding, and your teenager will have no crises. If you DO have a deadline, the baby will exhibit demonic tendencies and your teen will affirm that the Anti-Christ has taken up residence in the fourth bedroom.
• Those neighbors? The ones with the Barbie households? They will drop by when you're gotten so insanely busy that three days of dishes are in the sink, and a science experiment seems to have sprouted in adolescent son's room.

These are just a small glimpse of the life of a writer-mom or, more realistically, mom-writer. I think it's really easy to read blogs and to see this external author and think it's easy . . . and/or pretty. And it isn't. Realizing that is half the battle. You don't have to be perfect. When you let go of that idea . . . you're more free to write.

Has anyone else decided to let some things go? Let go of perfection?